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My thoughts | dm me funny tweets

[🤍 @hanja86_]

No fucking way its happening again

[🤍 @hanja86_]

blowin up the toilet while shorty in the next stall crying her eyes out

[🤍 @hanja86_]

Entire gym empty except for the one machine i need on every floor

[🤍 @hanja86_]

I never understood why people try to force non-binary folk to be androgynous. Y’all are creating a binary for the non-binaries 😭✌️.

[🤍 @hanja86_]

I’m unpredictable because I too do not know my next move

[🤍 @hanja86_]

My medicinal weight gain was spiritually israeli

[🤍 @hanja86_]

Choosing your ad on hulu is like choosing belt or cord

[🤍 @hanja86_]

Y’all ever hear a song so sexy ur like “man I gotta fuck this song on the low…”

[🤍 @hanja86_]

Socializing with autism is like pooping in a public restroom

[🤍 @hanja86_]

Lesbian dating is like trying to get an entry-level job.

[🤍 @hanja86_]

Therapy: $$$$
Cat: likely free outside

[🤍 @hanja86_]

went to the gym instead of taking a nap #skinny

[🤍 @hanja86_]

@no1jiafeistan Well its not watermelon

[🤍 @hanja86_]

My taste in music consists of songs that are still titled “nightcore” when sped up.

[🤍 @hanja86_]

Hot girls have horrific nightmares

[🤍 @hanja86_]

Practicing delayed gratification (ordering doordash for an hour from now)

[🤍 @hanja86_]

I can’t keep it in anymore. I love rubbery cheese and eggs. I don’t care. I will eat 1000 rubbery eggs before a runny one.

[🤍 @hanja86_]

Made it through another week!!🤗 cant wait to do it again!!😍

[🤍 @hanja86_]

Humans were in their bag domesticating felines. Fluffy mini tigers in your house go insane.

[🤍 @hanja86_]

The bachelor is just a normalized harem.