Mildred Fernandez

this isn't a fake account. i just don't have friends lol

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

Hello, friends in X. I don't know if there's anyone I can reach for this post but we are really desperate for financial help to get our father home.

This gofundme page is hosted by my cousin. https://t.co/XAD3Wlst5k

Hope you can donate and share. Thank you so much.

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

When do the problemsssssssssssssssss end?*

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

When does the problem end

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

"Hi Mildred, how are you?"

I'm fine.
(Other than the fact that my brain is getting continuously drained of the will to live and I feel like I'm pretty close to 'let go').
Yeah, I'm pretty alright.

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

@Converge_CSU no internet Paso de Blas, Valenzuela

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

I'll move to maya for my next bills payment @gcashofficial is driving me nuts, give me bck my fckin money

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

@NoContextHumans Grassis green

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

It's me, Hi.
My anger management issues is getting worse again.
I'm getting violent with my surroundings and towards myself again.
I feel it worsening each time there's a trigger.
It's frightening how bad it can get.

How bad can I get?

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

Will there ever be a time in my life when I'll no longer be poor?

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

When your day revolved around anger outbursts, task paralysis and breakdown and now that it's eve, you feel empty.

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

I did a good deed today and it feels good.

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

Something died in me when one of our dogs died early this year. If only I had the money, I could have saved him. That time was a wake-up call, that I couldn't save everyone and that I'm limited (with my brain always telling me that I'm not doing enough). It continues to kill me.

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

Oh man, I miss home.
Back when it was still relatively peaceful.
My morning coffee at the lanai on ber months,
Staring at my mom's plants.
She has cooked sopas as it's my comfort food.
And I'd have bowls of it.
And there were no difficult conversations as it was an alright time.

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

I'm not complaining.
I'm just tired.
I just wish things would have been different and I could sleep alright in most days if not all.

I wish I could have peace of mind in most days if not all.

Unlike now where peace feels like a luxury I don't think I can afford anytime soon

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

Just a random night with what if thoughts
... that I have just died during one of my serious illnesses in the past
... or that my mom succeeded in aborting me

Just saw this fb memory about a hosp procedure I had that I hated the most.

I'd def trade that pain vs my suffering rn

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

But I just can't stop.
I can't.

Even if my mental health has been suffering a lot and I watch myself get extreme some days.
Yet I have to put my parents' mental health over mine because they're more vulnerable than I am.

That on top of all kinds of support I give.

[Mildred Fernandez @hanjixmd]

I wish I only had superficial problems.