Hank Hill

Assistant Manager at @StricklandPro in Arlen, TX. Former Arlen HS Football player, husband, father, and American.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Yeah, well I was too excited too sleep, I tell ya what... I'm going to visit my in-laws!!

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

"One-legged turkey"? I'm not even going to dignify that with a response... other than shame on you.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

I'm gonna write a personal check and in the memo line I'm gonna write "unfair".

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Ugghh... They let that woman bring an oxygen tank on the plane...

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Now this doesn't leave the alley, but Peggy's parents want to go to a restaurant for Thanksgiving.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Now see here! Thomas Jefferson was a Founding Father! He designed and built his own house!

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Uhh, there's something we haven't told you Bobby, but maybe now's the time. Ya see, showbusiness is inherently evil.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Only old people need glasses to read. I use mine to run and jump.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

The word is "roadie" Bobby. He meant roadie. At least I hope to God.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

"Celebration of Local Graffiti Artist"? I'll give ya a headline... "Local Man Cancels Newspaper Subscription."

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

I like it! This is exactly what those environmentalist should be spending their time! Finding ways to use nature against other forms of nature that are inconvenient to man.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Yep, my dad sure knows how to take care of his cars. When I was a baby he had my moma make me a shammy jumpsuit and I used to crawl around on the hood until it shined like Christmas.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

You call this beer? Guatemalica? Who bought this stuff?

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Well that's the dangest thing. I've never heard of a solenoid just disappearing before.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Ah you just don't understand him, Peg. See he's a big flamboyant character like a peacock. That's why men love him. But women don't like his style because you all are like the peahen. More subdued and drag.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Ugh... Bobby... if you're gonna fake dial ya gotta hit more than 3 numbers.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Okay, @BobbyHillQuotes, I have some good news, but you have to promise not to squeal like a girl.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

My boy is on a TEAM. Not a squad. Not a club. A team.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

If Bobby doesn't love football, he won't lead a fulfilling life, and then he'll die.

[Hank Hill @hankquotes]

Maybe you can go out for center. At least then you can put your God given immobility to good use.