hannah

stop stalking me

[Oasis @oasis]

“START THE CELEBRATIONS!!!!
After a period of reflection “The Most Damaging Pop Cultural Force In Recent British History” has declared itself fit for purpose and will once again return to lift the spirits of the people.
Come witness the fitness.
It shall be a sight to behold.”

Oasis will tour the UK, mainland Europe, USA and Ireland in 2027!
For your chance to buy tickets you must register by 17th Sept, 4pm BST.
👉https://t.co/W59c57sbc9
There will be no general onsale.
🚩Please note that mailing list members are still required to register.
#OasisLive27

[Amanda @Pandamoanimum]

Every year I start off wrapping Christmas presents with the greatest of intention to make them look beautiful, but 3 gifts in and they all start looking like something an Evri driver has dropkicked over a neighbour’s hedge into a muddy puddle.

[. @snazzykazy]

"guess what?"

"i can't hear your guesses... because this... is... a letter..." 😭😭😭

[Edinburgh Zoo @EdinburghZoo]

We are calling for tighter restrictions on fireworks following the death of Roxie, our endangered red panda kit, on bonfire night.

Our expert vet team believe it's likely that three-month-old Roxie died due to stress caused by fireworks in the local area.

[COCO @TWOTIMESABITCH]

"i’m just blunt." no you aren't blunt. you just don’t care how you talk to people because you think your opinion is more important than respect or courtesy. i hate when people think the only way to be truthful is to be blunt, harsh or rude.

[dan @wanderingfox69]

Me judging 16 people within 30 seconds of knowing them #BBUK

[‎‏ً @grandekordei]

she might actually be the most overrated artist to exist

[Wade @WadeSAFC]

Go on lads. Keep smashing up our city. Smash up everything. Set everything on fire. Make sure people like your mams, dads, aunties, uncles etc don't have a job to go to on Monday, because their workplace no longer exists. That'll teach the illegals a lesson. Fucking gimps.

[ilona burton @ilonacatherine]

Young Swifties are making friendship bracelets and raising money while grown men throw bricks and spew hatred.

[Max @MFRP92]

Microsoft outage but Teams and Outlook are both fine is the adult version of snow that doesn’t settle enough for a school closure.

[Danny @doglab]

It takes 3.2 seconds to RT and help find jay Slater he is on holiday in Tenerife and has gone missing please call 116 000 with any information

[Soph @SophieMcDLaw]

I think there’s a 6th love language and it’s exclusively dads giving random lifts. Never the lifts they have to/are scheduled to give but those random ones where you already plan to get the bus and they’re like “go on I’ll take ya”

[L M @leemc87]

What everyone in the UK was doing last night VS what I was doing last night

[The Savvy Millennial™ @G__R__A__G]

Before you watch this clip, I urge you, I BEG you: please try to imagine the wrongest way possible to pronounce “tzatziki” first, because all of your hair will be blown off your head

[Lou Mach @LouLouMach]

So you’re that skint you have to sell your old stuff to buy new stuff and the HMRC wants to tax you on the sale of something you’ve already paid tax on that you will be selling for less than you paid?

Surely taxing millionaires would be more profitable than Sharon’s used tops?