theak

Just another sad, pale girl who spends too much time on the internet

[Barflugnarven🇻🇦 @barflugnarven]

ppl dont realize how scary diary of a wimpy kid actually is

[Wubby Chatter Struggles @WubChat]

🚨 WUBBY PULLED THE MOX EMERALD!! This is the first one to be pulled on camera in EIGHT YEARS!!!

[theak @hannah_theaker]

Life is just a marble staircase and I am nothing more than a beer bottle being rolled down it

[theak @hannah_theaker]

Guys don’t try shuffling on vinyl 😔

[theak @hannah_theaker]

@PaymoneyWubby HUH?

[theak @hannah_theaker]

Why have I never seen someone outside of middle school use crutches? 🤔

[theak @hannah_theaker]

@julianambee Pete just wanted a scenic view 🥺

[theak @hannah_theaker]

The only “miracle” Miracle Whip has ever done was stay on shelves as long as it has, because who the fuck is buying that shit

[theak @hannah_theaker]

Stick bugs are actually the most terrifying thing on this earth and no one can change my mind

[theak @hannah_theaker]

@julianambee 🥹❤️

[theak @hannah_theaker]

I’m sorry, but grandfather clocks are so stupid. Why you gotta have a 7 foot clock yell at you every time it’s a new hour?

[theak @hannah_theaker]

@julianambee I shall consider

[theak @hannah_theaker]

Petition to only have the months of September, October, and November exist year round

[theak @hannah_theaker]

What’s the point of even using this app anymore

[Possumeveryhour.io @PossumEveryHour]

Hi All, I regret to announce you all that this bot will stop working on 9th of February (Next week) due to new Twitter's API policy. I have no intention on paying Twitter for basic API usage.

You can continue to follow the bot on Mastodon:
https://t.co/tGsVdbTKyu

It's been fun

[theak @hannah_theaker]

*nurse checking me in for my appointment*

Nurse: “so, do you have a boy who’s giving you flowers this year?”

Me: “lmao no I don’t have one of those”

Nurse: “…a girl?”

Me: “bestie I’m alone”

[theak @hannah_theaker]

@haleywuIff My client is innocent

[neural net guesses memes @ResNeXtGuesser]

Image prediction: pomegranate
Confidence: 97.39%
Submission by @.J_oreo526

[theak @hannah_theaker]

Honestly the most traumatic time of the year is filling out FAFSA forms with your parents

[theak @hannah_theaker]

Y’all remember when Burger King had hotdogs? What the fuck, right?

[theak @hannah_theaker]

@haleywuIff 13 💀💀 I somehow gaslit myself into thinking it came out only 5 years ago, while my entire family has been watching it since the start 🫣