Calvin Jeffy

Yes, I'd love some pudding.

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

@BrianOake I too identify with Boba Fett

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

@CashLevy

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

@TheCurrent this this past weekend. If you guys are not familiar with this epic soundtrack, you are more than welcome to check out my copy. The best soundtrack to a1980s German Ski movie!

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

My friend: "You see this commercial for the #Superbowl!? They're making it looking we live in Antarctica."
Me: "Dude, we are happy it's -5 right now."
#Minnesota #NFL #FrozenWasteland

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

There are many days I look at myself and think, "if I could grow a beard, I bet I would look like a gnome."

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

Only at @americasbestinn Emporia do the paper thin walls really let you listen a bunch of hicks talk about f****n hookers, drinking beers and sucking c**k in the middle of the night.

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

The dude in the room next really feels the need blare the volume. He must really love the show @CW_Arrow

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

@CashLevy today is, front man of Bread, David Gates' 77th birthday.

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

Just a matter of time before @MNightShyamalan 's The Happening is a reality. #SingingTheDoomSong https://t.co/WWzjyuON62

[UberFacts @UberFacts]

Plants know when they're being eaten.

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

Gross and pathetic. However, this is the norm now. https://t.co/f2aS6D6XsD

[Pioneer Press @PioneerPress]

Trump says US ‘cannot afford’ Roy Moore loss in Alabama https://t.co/kJOrVW60J3

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

Being stuck at the dealership for 4 hours isnt so bad when you can listen to the entire discography of @SSPU #GlassHalfFull

[The Last Blockbuster @loneblockbuster]

You know you can Blockbuster and chill too. Netflix doesn’t own movie sex.

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

Life never goes as planned. I guess that is what punk music is for.

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

When you have a cat you're never drinking alone. #GlassHalfSomething

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

Death Metal kind of night #Thanksgiving

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

The Prodigy Firestarter #Mood

[Patrick Stewart @SirPatStew]

Gentlemen, come at me when you are THIS sexy. #SexiestManAlive #WelcomeToTheGunShow @BlakeShelton @RealHughJackman @VanCityReynolds @People https://t.co/xW5UywY4lp

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

Sometimes when I'm tired I try to drink out of my phone #Dammit #TIL

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

Really!? @BrianOake I love Blondie too but you missed a golden opportunity to play Nickleback for today's highlight #Trolling

[Calvin Jeffy @happyavocado]

Today at work I yelled out, "Happy Veterans Day!" Turns out... It's tomorrow. #VeteransDay