Just saw a TikTok where a woman said the biggest flex is “training your mind to be stronger than your feelings and your boundaries to be stronger than your empathy.” WHEW!
Walking away as soon as someone does something you don’t like isn’t strength. It’s an inability to repair. And a lack of communication skills. Strength is having difficult conversations and not running because you’re afraid of being hurt.
Friendships can end because:
-the connection was based on the past
-we've have different values
-we have a different idea on how time together should be spent
-we've evolved and don't connect over the same thing
-we've naturally drifted apart
@bchesky why cant we leave bad host reviews? but.. hosts can leave bad reviews to us? one time i had a bad experience and i wanted others to know so they dont get the same treatment but airbnb just took it down bc it conflicts with policy? wheres the transparency w/your users?
What people look for in a partner:
- physical appearance
- a certain height
- a good job
- a close relationship with family
- a desire to have children
- shared personal beliefs (thought driven)
- same hobbies or interests
Deeper things to look for:
- how they react when things don't go their way
- how they treat people who can give them nothing in return
- how they navigate conflict
- shared values (behavior driven)
- *why* they want children
- if they've done inner work/healing
- the underlying dynamics they have with family
Safe friendships don’t force you to play a role. They allow you to be who you truly are. Unsafe friendships are built on expectations, not mutual evolution.
The most damaging part of experiencing childhood abuse isn’t just the abuse itself. It’s that we weren’t allowed to stand up for ourselves. To place a boundary and say “no” or “enough.” As children, parents are gods and when they hurt us breaks our spirit.
I’ve worked with many people who claim they’re fine but are actually in a functional freeze response. They tend to be high achievers and workaholics who perform well and feel numb inside. Almost as if they’re watching themselves live life, not experiencing it
As the golden child, I learned to suppress my own needs, to achieve, and to be as easy as possible in order to be loved.
Here's some signs you were the golden child: