Hareet H

[. @runningpacks]

Smh...I drop ONE mixtape..

[Rick and Morty @RickandMorty]

TVs! Microwaves! Radios!

[amir @blumenfeld]

Dear autocorrect, I don’t ever mean “Ducking.”

I mean Duckimg!

That’s right, Norwegian Philosopher Wilhelm Fucking.

*Duckimg

[Tae @ddaeng_1]

Leaked footage of @machinegunkelly after listening to @Eminem's #KILLSHOT

[Lmao @HicksonSev]

#KILLSHOT Eminem: “I’m 45 and I’m still outselling you.” MGK:

[Fire Altman @Phony_ALTMAN]

Me when Eminem said "This idiot's boss pops pills and tells him the he got skills/
But Kells, the day you put out a hit, is the day Diddy admits he put the hit out that got 'Pac killed" :

#KILLSHOT

[The Masquerading Menace YT @MasqMenace267]

#KILLSHOT 'Cause he knows long as I'm Shady, he's gon' have to live in my shadow'

[Livin Lavi$h @_SlickLivin_]

See how fast this year passed? You better stop playing with your life.

[amir @blumenfeld]

Happy Labor Day! Let's go around the room and say one thing we're labor for.

[truTV @truTV]

The #MisfitsAndMonsters bee hive is pleased to welcome @jakeandamir & @JakeHurwitz on Wednesday 10/9c!

[Hareet H @hareet_h]

@jakeandamir Can’t wait!!

[amir @blumenfeld]

“We do apologize. For sure. But also, we deserve more business cash from you to us for this to have. Right? So, here.”

[amir @blumenfeld]

Lol every day is #NationalWaffleDay in this house!
— evil father who’s trapped his family in a time loop wherein August 24 repeats itself until they all kill themselves.

[amir @blumenfeld]

Remember when we didn't know the name of the President's lawyer's lawyer?

[Trevaunn Richards @Trey_Richards]

Whenever I go on Youtube I’m more disappointed than entertained. I watch the popular channels expecting to see some “top level shit” but im let down. I’m just confused and often question why certain shit is poppin.

[amir @blumenfeld]

Like, you can script what you’re gonna say beforehand, down to the word and just memorize it. So I can know exactly that I’ll be like “Spicy food isn’t good cuz it hurts your mouth. You wouldn’t want shoes that hurt your feet” and just say that for the audience when it’s my time.

[amir @blumenfeld]

Stand up is easy because you get to write the jokes you say on stage— you can prepare a lot. It’s much harder to be funny in random conversations which I also am.

[amir @blumenfeld]

You know why it’s called Fortnite, right? Because it takes two weeks to pay!

“To what?”

To play. A Fortnight is two weeks.

“I know. But you said PAY.”

So one typo and the joke is null in void?

“Null and void”

Fuck!

“Joke was bad too.”

Shit!

“Stop yelling.”

Fine! fine.