HARLEY SPICE

😊

[A_salam @thezongoboy]

Sardine, attention 😂😂😂
If you are born on Monday come in and dance 😂😂

[KAHALA @KAHALA123Y]

Wedding Venue Deposit

Me: “I’m calling about our deposit. We cancelled the venue eight months ago, and the contract says it should have been refunded within sixty days.”

Coordinator: “Let me pull up your file.”

A pause.

Coordinator: “I see the cancellation. It looks like the deposit was forfeited.”

Me: “Forfeited under what clause?”

Coordinator: “Cancellations within twelve months of the event forfeit the deposit.”

Me: “We cancelled fourteen months out.”

[Skyler @S_k_y_l_e_rr]

I cheated with a dirty old man behind my bfs back

I was out with my boyfriend and ended up chatting to a drunk older guy at the bar. He wouldn’t stop perving on me and eventually subtly feeling me up which is such a big turn on. He gave me his number and told me to message him as he had to go.

Couple days later I get home from a day out and while drunk and hõrny I message him. He instantly gets all pervy and talking about how much he needs to meet me to chat.

[Mario, PT @Mario_Sneh]

Judge: “Your former husband says you owe him $40,000.”

Woman: “I don’t agree.”

Judge: “He says he gave you the money to start your business and you promised to repay him.”

Woman: “I told him I’d repay him if the business became profitable.”

Husband: “That’s still a promise to repay.”

Judge: “Were you married when he gave you the money?”

Woman: “Yes.”

Judge: “Did you have a written agreement?”

Woman: “No.”

Judge: “Did you?”

Husband: “No.”

Judge: “So what did the two of you understand the $40,000 to be?”

Husband: “A loan.”

Woman: “An investment.”

Judge: “Why did you think it was an investment?”

Woman: “Because he said he wanted to help me build something that would eventually support both of us.”

Husband: “I said I’d help her get started. I never said she could keep my money.”

Judge: “Did you ever ask her for repayment while you were married?”

[Zazzy 👄 @fw_zazzy]

People who smoke weed think for themselves. People who drink absorb other people's ideas. One is harder to control and questions their own beliefs (weed), one is more ready to defend what they believe in even if its wrong (alcohol). The elites want us addicted to either drug because Weed pushes you into learned helplessness, and alcohol makes you retarded and fat. The elites like alcoholics because they're easily influenced and tend to abuse their children

[Mario, PT @Mario_Sneh]

My wife and I were planning our daughter’s wedding.

The venue cost $14,000.

We had already paid the deposit, and the final payment was due two weeks before the wedding.

Then I received an email from the venue.

“Final payment instructions have been updated.”

It looked normal.

Same logo. Same employee’s name.

Same email thread.

They told me the venue had changed banks and asked me to send the remaining $9,500 to a new account.

I paid it.

A week later, the venue manager called.

“Sir, your balance is still outstanding.”

I thought they were joking.

“I paid the balance last Tuesday.”

“No, you didn’t.”

I sent her the confirmation.

She went quiet.

Then she said:

[HARLEY SPICE @Harleyspice_]

@cutelipssx Because you know you have the money. There wouldn't be urge to prove it to people because there will be no time for that...always busy tryna multiply

But I doubt that's the case for Nigerian Igbo men

[botheredcitizen🆘 @only1Tymlez]

There’s absolutely nothing sweeter than a woman that says “Alright babe, I heard you, I will do better” and actually does better.

[Gold🤍🌚 @GOLDBABYO]

Officer: “Where are you headed today?”

Passenger: “Paris.”

Officer: “Passport, please.”

Passenger: “Here you go.”

Officer: flips through passport

Officer: “Your Canadian visa has expired.”

Passenger: “Okay.”

Officer: “You cannot enter Canada with an expired visa.”

Passenger: “I’m not going to Canada.”

Officer: “Where did you say you were going?”

Passenger: “Paris.”

Officer: “France?”

Passenger: “Yes.”

Officer: “Then where is your French visa?”

[HopeSonia @TheSupportVa]

I am still trying to wrap my head around how our parents managed to survive financially years ago.

They complained about hardship too, but somehow they could pay rent, feed a family, buy things and still have something left.

Meanwhile, this generation is working, hustling, learning skills, chasing opportunities. Even doing side hustles with no kids to to cater to 🥹🥹

And somehow, the money enters your account and responsibilities are already waiting at the door. Queued up

The painful part is ,you can earn more and still feel broke.

You can get a salary increase and somehow your expenses increase faster.

Sometimes I genuinely wonder:

How did we get here?
And if it is like this now,how will it be in the next 5 years???🏃🏃🏃🏃

[Gold🤍🌚 @GOLDBABYO]

A woman I know found a second phone in her husband’s jacket pocket and assumed she was about to discover an affair. She opened it and found messages with his ex instead. They’d dated for two years and broken up six years earlier. No sexting. No flirting. No “I miss you.” Nothing romantic at all. And somehow that made it worse. She read for about ten minutes and realized he was giving this woman something he had almost never given his wife in five years of marriage.

[APAJI @apaji_x]

BPD and relationships can create a brutal push-pull cycle💀 The closer you get, the more complicated things can become.

[HARLEY SPICE @Harleyspice_]

“Sir, did you find anything unusual?”
I hesitated.

“Yes.”

“Don't touch it.”
Too late.
My hotel door suddenly knocked.
A man stood outside.
“That's my suitcase.”

I asked, “How do I know you're telling the truth?”
He smiled.
“You don't.”
Then he pointed at the bag.
“Because yours is already at the airport.”

I called security immediately.

Turns out the man had deliberately swapped our bags.
The cash wasn't his either.
It belonged to someone who was already looking for him.

[HARLEY SPICE @Harleyspice_]

I opened my suitcase at the hotel and found ₦4 million in cash that wasn't mine.

I immediately called the airline.
“Sir, please bring the bag back to the airport.”
“I can, but there's a problem.”
“What problem?”

“The luggage tag has my name.”
They checked the records.
Apparently, someone had taken my identical suitcase at baggage claim.
Then the airport manager called.

[Skyler @S_k_y_l_e_rr]

I’ve been a bad girl

I have been a girl who says no for a longtime to fun slutty things but today I have been a good girl.

I met Mark three months ago and everytime we meet he always tell me I should give him my body to do with it whatever he wants.

Today I left my house in a small silk dress with nothing inside , Mark was bringing me some w$$d , so I wanted to show him my curves ,

[Jum'ah🌺 @JustJumah8]

At 6:40 a.m., I found a woman sitting on the curb outside my building, staring at my car.

She looked exhausted.

I almost walked past her.

Then she stood up.

“Are you the owner of that blue car?”

“Yes. Why?”

She pointed at my windshield.

“There’s something you need to see.”

A white envelope was tucked beneath my wiper.

My name was written on it.

I opened it.

Inside was a handwritten note:

“I’m sorry. I had nowhere else to go.”

[Jum'ah🌺 @JustJumah8]

Manager: “We need to discuss your future here.”

Employee: “What does that mean?”

Manager: “Your commitment to the team has become a concern.”

Employee: “My commitment?”

Manager: “You’ve stopped being available outside your scheduled hours.”

Employee: “Because my workday ends at 6.”

Manager: “That’s not the attitude we’re looking for.”

Employee: “I used to stay until 9.”

[KAHALA @KAHALA123Y]

Put in notice to avoid a meeting. VP moved the meeting to when I’m still here.

I’m the director of sales ops for a company and recently put in my notice to take a new sales position due to my toxic boss. Since I’ve been here the last 5 years I’ve turned into the defacto boss because I’m the only one that runs Salesforce. So every forecast for the sales team and every sales meeting are basically meetings that I run now. I put in my notice specifically miss the next forecast meeting to fuck the VP as much as possible and this bitch who complains about people always moving meetings around moved the meeting to my last day. I’m already formulating on how not to show up but what a douche canoe

[TheHost @TheHost_]

My stepmom was dying alone in a filthy senior home. She always hated me, but I still showed up, paid bills, and made sure she was not alone at the end. Her son laughed at me and said the inheritance was already his, that I was wasting my time.

[APAJI @apaji_x]

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