big boi lips

my schtick is misspelling words and terrible grammar

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

My physique may not portray it, but I am an expert pickle jar opener

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

Me ordering at a restaurant:

Can I get a salad with croutons, and sub the lettuce out for croutons and get an extra things of croutons on the side.

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

Can I just Venmo Jesus my tithing?

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

@pellykaulina Looks like someone rubbed a 100 ballons against him

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

@pellykaulina You got pics of this puppy hair cut?

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

@stuartmadi Ive done it twice and first time its hurt for like a second and then it was done. But the second time the guy doing it was super forceful and I couldnt stop sneezing the rest of the day or get my nose to stop running

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

@hyrumgodwin @kanyewest Kayne who?

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

@stuartmadi I didnt know i was wearing socks wrong... i have to rethink my whole life now

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

No @tacobell 1 hot sauce isnt enough for the 3 burritos i just ordered. #disappointedinmyfavoritechild

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

The true tragedy of covid-19, is that we cant sign each others year books. So i guess ill just do it here. #HAGS

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

Only place ill eat out right now is @tacobell cause the food dosnet sit in your system long enough to get the coronavirus.

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

There may be a pandemic sweeping the nation, but at least gas is 1.64 in oklahoma, traveling has never been cheaper

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

Due to Conference being broadcast only, may I recommend a laugh track for all the jokes that will be told, so theres no awkward silence. Also a clapping and cheering track that they can ask to not use when a another Utah temple gets announced.

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

Some days i feel like a sandwhich but just the crust.

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

Id sell my soul tonthe devil for 5 more mins of sleep right now

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

I walked into a store and asked sweet old lady at the front where the bathroom is, and she directed me accordingly.

But ive been in here 15 mins and now shes going to know I pooped when I walk out past her.

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

@stuartmadi Only if we get matching ones

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Being from Oklahoma "ok boomer" sounds more like just something OSU fans tell OU fans when theyre bragging 4 year win streak over them.

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

While all you out partying getting drunk, and getting turnt.

Im at my girlfriends arguing with her about which smells worse her feet or my farts.

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

If you wanna go on a date, youll have to call my mom so she can okay it and schedule it for me.

[big boi lips @harmon_royal]

@disneyplus is up and running and you know im watching all the Steam boat willy