Feels like I'm breaking this cycle of refusing to associate myself with unconditional love. Instead I'm trying to embrace the idea that maybe I am deserving of it, and maybe people actually do love me for who I've become.
Truth is, I trusted my gut and made a mistake. I missed out on so much of my family and my friends throughout the process. It took a lot of suffering to realize what is really valuable in this life.
"Hasshy, where have you been??"
"We miss you, come back"
"When are you going to stream again?"
These are all messages from people that aren't real. I'm just a schizophrenic