Top Tweets for #3AMHumor
#UpdatedMovieLines
"May I be known as Paul Muad'Dib?"
"That username is already taken. You can try again or chose from a suggestion below...."
#3AMHumor
Killer Clowns from Outer Space is a flick that could use a remake....or are we already at the point where depicting clowns as serial killers might upset up and coming Wayne Gacys?
#3AMHumor
This morning three self-absorbed dweebs at drop-off were driving the same model (and color) Tesla. Just musing abt how they think they're such individualists, but they just came off looking like they all shopped the clearance section of Overpriced-R-US.
#3AMHumor
Want to bash your head into a wall repeatedly? Try to explain to a liberal or MAGA chud that kids who were trained to reflexively say "sir/ma'am" aren't saying it out of respect.
#3AMHumor
How to make a MAGA:
Equal parts ignorance, cognitive dissonance, Christofash, and whiny baby.
(Or: Substitute coroporfash for Christofash and brunch for whiny baby to enjoy a stale, unfulfilling Shytelib.)
#3AMHumor
Biden: MAGA are fascists!!
Publius: Correct.
MAGA: Biden's a fascist!
Publius: Correct.
Now hy don't you all go duke it out somewhere else, like the middle of the ocean?
#3AMHumor
Nothing quite like having that sinking feeling compounded by your desk chair deciding to slowly and repeatedly drop.
#3AMHumor
Eh, f**ck it. IQ tests are, essentially, meaningless, but doesn't mean we can't require pols to get above a certain score to be eligible for office, since they'd all have to take it. Say, 120? I mean, can't hurt right? Would likely decimate both current parties.
#3AMHumor
So are we all on the same page now, i.e. the "Elon Musk is a moron" page?
#3AMHumor
Biden Handlers: "Just keep saying 'Putin's Price Hike.' Americans are ignorant as shite. They'll believe anything. Besides, we defeated the Soviets in WWII and we can do it again!"
#3AMHumor #Kakistocracy
Biden: "Putin's price hike! Pooo-t-iii-nnn's!"
Publius: "You're saying Putin is responsible for rampant corporate price gouging?"
Biden: "Leprechauns! Leeep--reeee-chaaaauuns!!"
#3AMHumor
Publius: That dude just shook hands with the air.
Shitelibs: HE HAS A STUTTER!!
#3AMHumor
Biden says he's running again.
Does he know where he's running to?
#3AMHumor
Easter.
The "Christian" holiday of egg worship named after a pagan fertility goddess (Eostre). Couldn't even be bothered to change the damn name.
#3AMHumor
Lib: Why didn't you vote for the party-chosen POS you were told to?
Publius: Hillary told me if I didn't like voting for a do-nothing windbag liar to go somewhere else. So I did!
Lib: It's still all your fault.
#3AMHumor
Shartlibs: "You Leftists are RWers b/c you keep blaming Biden for continuing all of Trump's programs and schemes. But he can't stop them!! He's only the president! Leave Biden alone!!!! #3AMHumor
Saw a shartlib post today telling everyone they're not smarter than Biden, Hillary, etal.
Psst...Most people in office aren't as smart as Jordan Peterson.
(Dumb people will think this means they're still really smart.)
#3AMHumor
"Let's call in our brain trust!"
"Where's Musk?"
"He pushed all the buttons in the elevator. He'll be here in like an hour, if he doesn't push them again."
"Gates?"
"Trying to figure out how to tie his velcro shoes."
"Bezos?"
"Masturbating. He won't stop!"
#3AMHumor
The Democrats' "only hope."
#3AMHumor
Per new Taco Bell ads, one is supposed to put salsa (aka Taco Bell sauce) on every bite. This seems like a faux pas and raises the question of why Taco Bell doesn't just offer its sauce in cups as a dip?
#3AMHumor
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