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Meet MAGAt tradwife icon Jennifer Hegseth, who loves family values so much she decided to start her own while both she and Pete were still married to other people. Truly a modern testament of faith and strategic scheduling! It all makes perfect sense now why Pete proudly declared he only trusts and takes advice from the "two Js"—Jennifer and Jesus. Because nothing says "divine guidance" quite like running secret, high-level Pentagon airstrike briefings on a private Signal chat while swapping notes on the Ten Commandments. Of course, she also finds time to homeschool their kids—a truly miraculous feat of time management considering she is constantly jet-setting around the globe with Pete. Perhaps Jesus is handling the lesson plans while she is busy running the Department of Defense. And let's talk about those Pentagon travel expenses. Nothing says "fiscal responsibility" like bringing your entire blended family of seven on what looks like a taxpayer-funded, red-carpet parent-child tour of France. Naturally, actual military spouses—who are currently enduring grueling deployments and real hardships—are thrilled to see Jennifer handpicked by Trump to head the Presidential Military Spouse Commission. It's so inspiring for them to watch a former Fox News producer, with zero military background, waltz into the Oval Office to collect a new title while their family members face record-breaking, stressful deployments at sea.