Top Tweets for #ClassicOneLiners
Why is the letter A like a flower? Because a B comes after it…
#ClassicOneLiners or perhaps a Dad joke.
Will glass coffins prove popular? Remains to be seen.
#ClassicOneLiners That sounds like a Tim Vine joke to me.
You know your children are growing up when they stop asking you where they came from and refuse to tell you where they’re going.
#ClassicOneLiners
Why do you never hear a pterodactyl use a toilet? Because the P is silent.
#ClassicOneLiners
Why did the Archaeopteryx catch the worm? Because it was an early bird.
#ClassicOneLiners
When ancient wall sculptors finished their work, it was a relief.
#ClassicOneLiners
What's the bear minimum? One bear.
#ClassicOneLiners
When I found out my toaster wasn’t waterproof, I was shocked.
#ClassicOneLiners
What do you call someone with neither a body nor a nose? Nobody nose.
#ClassicOneLiners
What do you call a duck that just doesn't fit in? Mallardjusted.
#ClassicOneLiners
What do you call a dinosaur that smashes everything in its path? Tyrannosaurus wrecks.
#ClassicOneLiners
This book of incantations is useless; the author didn’t use a spell checker.
#ClassicOneLiners
There’s a terrible smell in the local Apple store; it’s a shame they don't have Windows.
#ClassicOneLiners
There are a few grave diggers wandering around the local graveyard; I think they’ve lost the plot.
#ClassicOneLiners
The word 'twice' is so good they named it 'twice'.
#ClassicOneLiners
The inventor of the throat lozenge has died. There will be no coffin at his funeral.
#ClassicOneLiners
The invention of the pickaxe was ground breaking.
#ClassicOneLiners
#SphericalEarthArgument
If the Earth was flat, cats would have pushed everything off it by now.
#ClassicOneLiners
Police were called to a nursery where a three year old was resisting a rest.
#ClassicOneLiners Not so much classic as antique.
Someone left a piece of Plasticine in my house. I didn’t know what to make of it.
#ClassicOneLiners
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