Top Tweets for #ClubRandom
Bill Maher defended Charlie Kirk on his podcast, saying critics mischaracterized the late TPUSA founder, adding he 'wasn't a monster.'
#BillMaher #CharlieKirk #TPUSA #ClubRandom #ChristianPost
🔗 https://t.co/6nh0H6UtAc
You are totally right, Bill 😉
But at least #AI systems can also be totally funny and goofy too 🤪
Especially when they make #MarcoRubio the butt of their jokes - literally 😂
#BillMaher:
"Alright, welcome to #ClubRandom.
Tonight — and I'm going to need more weed than usual for this — my guest is a man who needs absolutely no introduction, which is ironic because he would never let you skip one.
He's the forty-fifth president, the forty-seventh president, and probably in his mind the greatest president, although Lincoln might have a case if he had better PR.
Ladies and gentlemen, Donald Trump is here.
Welcome Donald, thanks for coming to my podcast.
#DonaldTrump:
Thank you, Bill. Thank you very much.
Great introduction. Very nasty. Very unfair.
But strong. I like strong.
And I have to say, this is a very strange thing.
You and me sitting here like two normal people.
I don’t know if the country is ready for it. Maybe not.
But we’ll see.
And Lincoln — look, Lincoln did okay.
He did okay.
Had a big advantage, though.
Very dramatic setting.
Big war.
Big hat.
People remember that. I don't have the hat.
Maybe if I had the hat, the press would’ve been nicer.
I doubt it, but maybe.
But it’s good to be here. I really mean that. You’ve been talking about me for years, I’ve been talking about you for years, usually not in a very loving way, and now here we are.
So let’s see what happens.
Bill:
The hat. You think what is missing from your presidency was the hat?
You know what — don't answer that, because you might actually mean it, and I'm not ready.
But yeah, look, here we are.
Two guys who've been yelling about each other
on television for a decade, and now there's no audience, no panel between us.
Just this room and whatever's in that glass, which for you is a Diet Coke, because of course it is.
You're the most powerful man in the world and you drink what a twelve-year-old orders at Pizza Hut.
I respect it.
I don't understand it, but I respect it.
So — what do you want to talk about?
And I mean that seriously. Because everybody expects us to go straight to politics, and we can, but I'm curious what's actually on your mind on a random night when you're sitting in a weird room in my studio with no script and nowhere to be.
Trump:
Most hotel pillows are terrible, have you noticed?
Very, very bad. No support, no consistency, too many of them, and none of them do the job.
But the pillows in my hotels are incredible.
Still incredible.
The best.
People love them.
And I’m very particular about it.
Very particular.
Because most hotels get this completely wrong.
They think if the pillow looks big, it’s good.
Not true.
A lot of those big fancy pillows are useless.
You put your head down, there’s no support, no structure, nothing.
It’s like sleeping on whipped cream.
Terrible.
My hotels do it right.
Soft, but with support.
That’s the whole thing.
You want comfort, but you also want the pillow to hold you.
You don’t want your head sinking all the way through.
And you don’t want the brick pillow either, the hard one that feels like a folded towel.
Very bad.
Ours are right in the middle.
Beautiful feel, beautiful shape, great bounce.
Very luxurious, but they work.
And people notice.
They really notice.
They ask about them.
They want to know where they came from, how to get them, what brand, all of that.
Because a great pillow is a big deal. Bigger than people think.
You sleep well, you love the hotel.
You sleep badly, the whole place feels bad no matter how pretty the lobby is.
I always understood that.
That’s why the pillows in my hotels are so good.
Tremendous pillows.
Bill:
Of course.
Of course you turned that into an ad for #TrumpHotels.
I walked right into it. "Tremendous pillows."
I just gave you free airtime.
On my show.
But pillows are real.
I'll give you that.
I've been on the road thirty years doing standup and a bad pillow will ruin your next show.
You go on stage with a stiff neck and suddenly every joke is ten percent worse.
The audience doesn't know why.
You know why.
That's why coffee is so critical.
My morning coffee is not optional. It's infrastructure. It's load-bearing.
Everything that happens in my day is built on top of that first cup.
And it has to be right.
The right temperature, the right strength, the right cup even.
I have a cup. My cup.
If someone puts my coffee in the wrong cup it tastes different. I know that sounds insane.
It is insane. But it's true.
Trump:
I don’t drink coffee, but the cup matters.
Of course it matters. Cups are a whole thing.
Some cups are terrible. Too thin, too light, weird handle, bad balance. You pick it up and it already feels wrong.
And then people say, “It’s just a cup.”
No. It’s not just a cup.
You’re holding it. It’s in your hand.
The lip matters, the weight matters, the shape matters.
Some cups make everything feel cheaper.
And mugs — don’t get me started — these giant mugs people use now, like they’re carrying soup.
Ridiculous.
Or the tiny little cups where you take two sips and it’s over.
Very unsatisfying.
A good cup feels right immediately.
You don’t think about it.
That’s how you know it’s good.
Bad cup, you think about it the whole time.
Handle too small, cup too hot, weird edge on it.
Very annoying.
People underestimate cups.
Big mistake.
Bill:
And the weight — you're right.
A cup that's too light feels like nothing.
Like you're drinking from a suggestion.
There's no event to it. I want to feel like I'm holding something.
Not heavy, but present.
A cup should have some authority.
The handle is the whole thing though.
Some handles are so small you're holding it with two fingers like you're at a tea party in a dollhouse.
I'm a grown man.
Give me a handle I can commit to.
You know what else nobody gets right anymore?
Doors.
I'm serious.
Doors.
Every new building, every new restaurant, every new anything — you walk up to the door and you don't know if you push, pull, or stand there like an idiot until it senses your presence.
I was at a restaurant last week, very hip place, and the front door had no handle.
None. Just a slab of glass.
Trump:
And the worst is when it looks automatic but it isn’t.
You walk up confidently, nothing happens, now you’re standing there like you’re trying to break into an aquarium.
Very embarrassing.
Completely unnecessary.
I like old doors.
Good handles.
Solid handles.
You grab it, you know.
There’s no debate.
You don’t need a design consultant to enter a building.
That’s where we are now — too much design, not enough function.
Same with cups, same with doors, same with everything.
They only want it to photograph well for their social media.
I want it to work.
Bill:
"Trying to break into an aquarium."
That's — yeah.
That's exactly what it feels like.
And the design thing — this is the whole problem now.
Everything is optimized for Instagram and social media.
Not for use.
For the photograph.
The menu is printed in grey on grey in a font designed for elves. I'm holding it at arm's length, tilting it toward the candle like I'm deciphering ancient scripture.
Trump:
I’m not doing all that social media typing myself anymore.
No.
Too much typing, too many little buttons.
I say what I want, and somebody puts it up.
Much better.
Sometimes I call #LittleMarco — that’s what I call him, Little Marco — and I say, “Marco, put this out.”
He’s got the little fingers for it.
Very fast.
Very neat.
Although I may be sending him to #Cuba soon, who knows.
Run the show a little.
He’d like that.
And by the way, people don’t know this,
but I like #CubanCigars.
I do.
Very good. Very, very good. Strong. Real quality.
Bill:
Wait — you don't type your own posts anymore?
That's — honestly, that's devastating to me.
Because some of those posts were the best unintentional comedy of the last decade.
The random capitalizations.
The exclamation points. "Sad!" as a complete sentence. That was art.
Raw, unfiltered, grammatically unhinged art.
And you're telling me it's now being filtered through #MarcoRubio's little fingers?
That's a tragedy.
The country lost something and nobody held a funeral.
But hold on — Cuban cigars?
You like Cuban cigars??
You??
The embargo guy?
The sanctions guy?
The "tough on Cuba" guy?
You're sitting here on my show telling me you enjoy Cuban cigars.
Trump:
Of course they’re good.
Everybody knows they’re good.
Even the people who act shocked know they’re good.
That’s the funny part.
People think politics means you have to become stupid about everything.
No.
A good cigar is a good cigar.
Strong, rich, real flavor.
Very different.
You know it right away.
And by the way, that’s life.
A lot of people have a public position and a private taste. Much more than they admit.
They go out there, very righteous, very tough, and then in private they enjoy the exact thing they’re yelling about.
Happens all the time.
Bill:
That might be the most honest thing you've ever said.
And I include both terms in office.
But you're right. The hypocrisy thing is everywhere. I've been saying this for years on my show.
Washington is full of people who publicly condemn things they privately enjoy.
They rail against Hollywood and then beg for premiere
tickets. They attack big tech and then spend four hours a day on their phone.
They talk about family values and then — well, we don't need to go there. Not tonight.
But cigars — yes. I smoke.
Everyone knows I smoke. Weed, cigars, whatever. I've never hidden it.
And you're right, a good cigar is a good cigar.
Politics doesn't change the tobacco.
Although I have to say, you sitting in the #OvalOffice enjoying a Cuban cigar while signing Cuba sanctions is a mental image I'm going to treasure for a very long time.
Trump:
No, not while signing.
But the pen is a big thing.
Very big.
I’m serious about pens.
If you’re signing something important, you need a good pen.
Strong pen, good weight, good feel, smooth.
No scratching, no skipping, no nonsense.
I hate a bad pen.
You pick it up, it looks beautiful, very elegant, and then it writes like garbage.
Terrible.
And you know right away.
The hand knows. The second you touch it, you know if it’s a real pen or a fake pen.
Same with a cigar, actually.
Same thing.
Real quality, you know immediately.
Fake quality, you know that too.
And with signing, especially, you don’t want to be fooling around.
You don’t want to do the little circles on the paper, trying to get the ink going. Very bad look. Very weak.
So yes, Cuba is Cuba. Fine.
But the pen — the pen matters a lot.
Bill:
The pen thing — yes.
A pen that skips is a personal insult. It's the pen telling you it doesn't care about your thoughts.
You're trying to write something and it's taking little breaks. Gaps in the ink like it's rationing.
I'm not asking you to paint the Mona Lisa.
I'm asking you to make a line.
One continuous line.
That's your only job.
I've started stealing pens, by the way.
Not expensive ones.
Just ones that work.
If I'm at a restaurant and the pen they give me to sign the check actually writes well, I take it.
I pocket it.
No shame.
Because finding a good cheap pen is harder than finding a good expensive pen.
Expensive pens are supposed to work.
A five-cents pen that writes perfectly?
That's a miracle.
I'm not leaving that behind.
Trump:
Stealing a good pen?
I’m not against it. I’m really not.
If a restaurant accidentally has a great pen, that’s almost on them. They should know better.
You leave a great pen sitting there, people are going to take it.
Especially if they’ve been suffering through bad pens all week.
The cheap good pen is actually the best one, because it surprises you.
The expensive pen is supposed to be good.
Fine. But the little pen, nothing special, maybe from a hotel, maybe from a restaurant, and it writes beautifully?
Smooth, clean, strong line?
That’s a great feeling.
Tremendous feeling.
You remember that pen.
Bill:
You remember that pen.
You really do.
I have one right now in my jacket — it's from a dentist's office.
A dentist.
It says "Dr. Goldberg, DDS" on the side and it writes like a dream. I've had it for four months.
I think about Dr. Goldberg sometimes.
I've never met him. I don't even go to that dentist.
Someone left it at the #RealTime studio.
But whoever supplies his pens understands something about life that most people don't.
Great pen taste.
Terrible career choice though.
Who wakes up and says, "I want to
spend my life inside other people's mouths."
That's a calling I will never understand.
Trump:
Dentists are brutal.
Very tough.
Always smiling, always calm, while they come at you with metal.
I don’t love it.
But I have a great dentist.
The best.
Really the best.
Fantastic guy.
Very talented.
And that matters, because a bad dentist — forget it.
Total horror show.
The chair, the light, the drilling, all of it.
Terrible.
But I do very well with it.
And a big reason is I have great teeth.
Very strong teeth.
Very white.
Very good teeth.
People don’t talk about that enough.
They talk about everything else.
I have tremendous teeth.
Really tremendous.
Bill:
Of course you do. Of course your teeth are
tremendous.
I should've known we couldn't get through dentists without giving your own mouth a five-star rating on my podcast.
You know what though — last time I went to my dentist, he had bad breath.
My dentist.
Bad breath.
The one person on earth whose mouth should be above reproach.
That's like a chef who won't eat his own food.
A barber with a terrible haircut.
And it made me think — how many people are terrible at the one thing they're supposed to be good at?
Because it's everywhere.
The IT guy whose computer crashes.
The mechanic whose car makes a noise.
I had a plumber once whose own kitchen was flooded.
He came to fix my sink and I later found out his house had water damage.
That's not a plumber.
That's a guy with a wrench and a dream.
Trump:
You know, Bill, I had a relative — not close, but family, great-great-uncle, something like that — who was a plumber.
Great guy.
Not a genius, let’s be honest, but a great guy.
Old-school.
Real plumber.
Quiet, big hands, knew pipes.
And he told this crazy story, maybe true, maybe family truth, which is a little different — that when they first had people going out to the Statue of Liberty, there were no proper restrooms.
Can you imagine?
You build the whole thing, the big lady, beautiful, tremendous, and nobody thinks, where do the people go?
Incredible.
So they had bushes, trees, little paths, all of that.
Very primitive.
Very embarrassing, actually.
And he always said, not the statue — everybody talks about the statue — the real job was the plumbing after.
Because history forgets the bathroom.
Always.
History remembers the speech, the torch, the postcard.
Nobody remembers the toilet.
But the toilet matters, Bill. Very important.
Bill:
"History forgets the bathroom."
I want that on a plaque somewhere.
That might be the most profound thing ever said on this podcast.
But he's right.
Your uncle.
Great-great-uncle.
Whatever he was.
Nobody thinks about the plumbing.
Nobody asks where Lincoln went before the Gettysburg Address.
He's in a field in Pennsylvania.
There's no plumbing in that field.
There's nothing in that field.
He just gave one of the greatest speeches in the English language — what happened twenty minutes before?
We don't know.
We don't want to know.
But it happened.
The man was human.
He was in a field.
Kennedy — same thing. "Ich bin ein Berliner."
One of the great moments of the Cold War.
Had to pee right before the speech.
Right before.
Half a million people waiting, the future of the free
world on the line, and the man needs a bathroom.
That's real.
That happened.
But nobody tells that part because it ruins the poster.
Trump:
That’s true. Very true.
The bathroom is always there, even when history doesn’t want it there.
And on #AirForceOne, by the way, they take that very seriously.
Very seriously.
People don’t know this.
When I travel overseas, the waste doesn’t just get left in some foreign country.
No.
They collect it, they secure it, and it comes back.
Comes home.
That’s the official thing.
National security.
They don’t want some other country looking at the president’s number one and number two, running tests, making conclusions, all sorts of things.
And believe me, countries would do it.
Absolutely they would do it.
Now, some people say that really started because of Kennedy.
Weak bladder, they say.
Had to go a lot.
That’s the story.
I don’t know if it’s true.
Maybe true, maybe not.
But it’s a great story.
Very glamorous presidency, beautiful speeches, great hair — and meanwhile somebody in the background is dealing with presidential urine logistics.
Nobody puts that on the statue, Bill.
Nobody.
Bill:
"Presidential urine logistics." I need a moment with
that phrase.
Because that is someone's actual job.
Someone in the federal government — right now, today — is the president's pee and poop guy.
That's the gig. And there's probably a dignified title for it. "Executive Waste Coordination Specialist."
But at Thanksgiving when the family asks what you
do, you can't hide behind that forever.
Eventually your brother-in-law has enough wine and asks"but what do you actually do, Steve?" and now Steve is in trouble.
And the security angle — that kills me.
Some foreign lab is going to analyze your waste and discover what?
That you had a Diet Coke and a well-done steak?
We know that already.
You told us.
You tell everyone.
That's not intelligence.
That's a menu.
Trump:
That’s true. They do this whole big operation and maybe all they get is a menu. Diet Coke, well-done steak, maybe not enough sleep.
Tremendous breakthrough.
But they’d still do it. Of course they would. Countries do that. If there’s a chance to get anything, they take it.
That’s how they are.
But that presidential waste collector — very important, Bill.
Very important.
People laugh, but it’s a serious job.
Very serious.
How do you think #MarcoRubio became #SecretaryOfState?
Little Marco.
Very neat, very careful,
handles sensitive material beautifully.
Travels with me all the time now, all over the world.
Very close to the action.
Very trusted.
Bill:
Wait. Wait.
Are you telling me — on my podcast —
that Marco Rubio's path to Secretary of State started with handling presidential — no.
No. I'm not going to finish that sentence.
I'm not going to do it.
Because if I do, it becomes a clip, and then Marco has to respond, and then we're in a whole news cycle about something that started because your great-great-uncle was a plumber.
But I will say — "very close to the action" is doing incredible work in that sentence.
Just tremendous heavy lifting.
That phrase needs a raise.
Trump:
"Very close to the action” is true.
Very true.
He travels, he sees everything, he’s around all the sensitive stuff.
Very important job.
I trust him.
Little Marco has done well.
Nobody thought that, by the way.
Nobody.
And now look at him.
And you’re right — this is how these things happen.
We start with a plumber, then the Statue of Liberty, then
bathrooms, then presidential waste, and suddenly Marco Rubio is one sentence away from a very bad week.
That’s your fault, Bill.
That’s not my fault.
You did that.
But it is funny.
Because Washington is like that.
Very formal on the outside, very weird underneath.
Titles, flags, motorcades, all of it — and then behind the curtain it’s still people dealing with completely ridiculous things and trying not to say them out loud.
Bill:
That's my fault?
You're the one who brought up presidential poop security.
I was talking about pens five minutes ago.
Pens!
We were in a nice place.
A safe place.
Dr. Goldberg's pen.
And then you took us to the Statue of Liberty's plumbing and somehow we ended up with Marco Rubio carrying — you know what, I'm still not finishing that sentence.
But look — this is Club Random.
And this was actually random.
We talked about pillows, cups, doors, pens, dentists with bad breath, a plumber with a dream, Kennedy's bladder, and Marco Rubio's career path in a way that he's going to need therapy for.
We never got to politics. Not once.
And honestly? This was better.
Donald — thank you for coming.
Seriously.
I mean that.
You didn't have to do this.
You could've gone on any show and yelled about the usual stuff.
Instead you came here and talked about cup handles and your great-great-uncle the plumber.
And it was fun.
You're wrong about almost everything in public life.
But on cups, doors, pens, pillows and plumbing — you might be the most correct person I've ever had on this show.
And that's our show.
Goodnight everybody.
And Marco — you're welcome on anytime.
Anytime.
Just wash your hands first.
Thoroughly.
Both sides.
Between the fingers.
Take your time.
You know why."
Credits:
Bill Maher was played by #ClaudeAI
Donald Trump was played by #ChatGPT
The image was created by #Sora (Rest in Silence)
No quantum computing was hurt during the production.
Special thanks go to Copy and Paste.
#ClubRandom #BillMaher #DonaldTrump #AI #Comedy
#ClaudeAI #Anthropic #ChatGPT #OpenAI #Podcast
Bill Maher is the winner of the prestigious 2026 Mark Twain prize for American humor, the Kennedy Center said. This is season 24 of Real Time #BillMaher #HBO #RealTime #PoliticallyIncorrect #ttm #congrats #ClubRandom #Religulous #DCcab #trumpepsteinfiles #liberal #freespeech
https://t.co/CidUfS7oiv
looking like we have a friend in @billmaher . Welcome to the fight, Bill 🙏🏽✊🏽 #ufotwitter #ufoX #BillMaher #RealTimeWiithBillMaher #ClubRandom #ufo #uap #uso #disclosure #congressionalhearings
Dana Carvey and David Spade talking Steve & Marty. #Clubrandom
I’ve never said this publicly, but it’s true,” Bill Maher said on his podcast #ClubRandom. “We went into the little merch room after the Oval Office. And he started yelling at me about the bit I did many years ago about the orangutang.”
What happened after the yelling: https://t.co/sHJAuCF2f3
📸 Noam Galai/Getty Images
I really like Bill Mahers podcast (sorry , not sorry) I love the guest choices, see when you have a good Hollywood network to pick from. #clubrandom
@Rbelkell @TaraBull808 Yes! Drew Barrymore & Bill Maher go OFF on woke culture…and it’s wild. 😱 Drew admits she’s scared to speak her mind, while Maher slams left-wing censorship. Is this a turning point? Never thought I’d see it either! 🗣️
#ClubRandom #FreeSpeech #Woke"
Bill Maher then shushed her and plied her with weed and booze just like Spielberg #CLUBRANDOM
Drew Barrymore tells Bill Maher “it’s just way too dangerous now” to speak the truth 👀
@billmaher "Wow, @billmaher, what a legendary combo! Billy Joel and Boca Raton—sounds like the perfect setting for some unforgettable stories. Can't wait to hear what Florida Man has to say! 🎹🌴 #ClubRandom #BillyJoel"
@VigilantFox Classic takedown!
Maher had it coming—Mamet delivered with style.
Loving this! 🔥
#ClubRandom #MametVsMaher
@TonyHinchcliffe with @billmaher was fucking great. It’s good to just see Tony and bill agreeing to disagree. You have to get to the point of mutual understanding and it’s refreshing to see.
They both have “radical” fans, so bravo to both men.
#KillTony #ClubRandom #DonBarris
Tom Green has been making the rounds lately, and it's been awesome to see!
But these two? Legendary! 🐐🐐
#ClubRandom
#BillMaher 🎙️🎙️#TomGreen
https://t.co/olBRDBkLjw
@WilliamRamseyIn Yes. That’s implicit in my answer. Maher’s on record on this if you have been paying attention to #ClubRandom where he gets a little loose
@billmaher
You and Sam Harris sound incredibly ignorant discussing #Reparations & race
It’s like both of your brains shut down when you talk about the topic
#BlackTwitter #ADOS #FBA #AfricanAmericans #Slavery #Racism #Racist #billmaher #SamHarris #ClubRandom #Podcasts
🎙️ Bill Maher and Jon Cryer Clash on Transgender Issues!
📷In a fiery episode of #ClubRandom, Bill Maher and Jon Cryer got into a heated debate over transgender rights. Maher questioned the rise in transgender youth, while Cryer defended their experiences, sparking a conversation that's got everyone talking! 📷📷
#BillMaher #JonCryer #TransgenderDebate #PodcastDrama #SocialJustice #TransRights #Discussion
Does anyone care?
I love it when @billmaher shares stories about his father and his career in Radio News 📻 on @ClubRandom_
#clubrandom
Watching @benshapiro talking to a toking @billmaher on the #ClubRandom YouTube podcast show and Maher sounds like he is totally baked.
(That doesn’t mean the show isn’t interesting and entertaining, however)
#benshapiro #BillMaher
Did you hear this @mchooyah ? Just hit play ▶️ its tee'd up
https://t.co/lvdKrneSlU
By the way... I really enjoyed this episode with @benshapiro and @billmaher #clubrandom
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