Top Tweets for #DumbDMs
#DumbDMs
Some Person: With an account the size of yours, you should at least use your platform to say SOMETHING about... (insert political nonsense here)
Me: I will use my platform to snake you TF out because it's none of your f*cking business what I possssst about! ๐๐๐๐คช๐
#DumbDMs
Some Bot: Hello! I am new here and looking to meet nice man.
Me: You are snaked TF out. ๐๐๐
Some Bot: What is snaked TF out?
Me: What do you want a f*cking diagram or something? ๐ซ๐ง ๐คช๐คฃ
Some Bot: Yes!
Me: Okay!
#DumbDMs
Some Person: Your posts are quite venomous lately.
Me: Thank you! I snake them myself! ๐๐ฅฐ
Some Person: I didn't mean it as a compliment.
Me: Fine. I didn't mean to thank you. ๐๐
#DumbDMs #WorldSnakeDay
Some Person: Should I eat Chinese food or Subway?
Me: Facts:
1) The MacClelland's coral snake is highly venomous and found in China
2) The Sonoran coral snake is highly venomous and found in the USA
Conclusion: You're f**ked either way! ๐คช๐ฉ๐๐
#DumbDMs
Some Bot: Hello! I think you are very interesting. I want to introduce you to my single friend. She is from Japan. She saw your picture and thinks you're attractive.
Me: Attractive? Me? Tell your friend I said "Snake you so much!" and send her my sssexy pics! ๐คช๐๐
#DumbDMs
Some Person: Ur a liberal moron and I'm unfollowing you.
Me: Is the goal of this message to inform me of my liberal moronishness? Or, is the goal to try to change me into a conservative non-moron? Either way, have a cake and a cobra and have a good night. ๐๐๐๐ฐ๐คช๐
#DumbDMs
P0rn Bot: What kind of woman are you into?
Me: I'm into women who know science facts and who enjoy being snaked TF out. Now, have a Forest Cobra. They are highly venomous and found throughout western and central Africa.๐คช๐๐๐๐ค
#DumbDMs
Some Person: What's with the snakes and Star Wars? Just curious.
Me: I am a nerd. I'm into science and science fiction. Its not that complicated to explain. Now, you have an answer...May the Force be with your snakes! ๐ค๐
Some Person: Okay, then! ๐
#DumbDMs #science #Geography
Some Person: Where is Weedtacostan?
Me: It's a largeish volcanic islandal continental landmass located between South America and Australia, in the Indianpacificatlantic Ocean. Here is a handy map. ๐ฟ๐คช๐ฎ๐๏ธ๐บ๏ธ
Some Person: ๐ Okay. Thanks!
#DumbDMs
Some Person: Why did you unfollow me?
Me: Probably because you didn't follow me back. Those who don't follow me back are often snake-haters or homophobes. Thus, I'll likely unfollow them, especially if they don't even give likes to my sh!t on occasion. ๐๐๐
#DumbDMs
Some Person: I do not appreciate your posts about women.
Me: Gee, I'm so very sorry about that. Please accept my apology cobra, cake and coffee and also, my apology finger! ๐ณ๏ธโ๐๐๐คช๐
#DumbDMs
Some Person: Maybe you're the one who's toxic!
Me: No, I am venomous. Toxic things poison everything indiscriminately. Venomous things are only a danger to people who f*ck with them. You are snaked TF out. Have some spitting red cobras and have a nice day! ๐๐๐๐
#DumbDMs
Some Person: good day Random Thanks for becoming my friend ๐may i see your cock?
Me: Sure! Have a nice day! ๐คช๐
Fact: I am a SCIENCE account. I also do not have a cock. If you send me sh!t like this, you're going to get a photo of snake ween, not of me. ๐๐๐
#DumbDMs
Some Person: Drinking too much coffee drives people insane.
Me: I'll have a short drive. ๐คช๐ค๐โ๏ธ Now, have some matching snakes, cakes and coffee. Fact: Corn snakes can be lavender.
Some Person: ๐๐๐๐
#DumbDMs
Some Person: The only people who like Ahsoka are braindead.
Me: The only people who send me messages like this are people who want to be snaked TF out and taught science facts. Fact: Cobras are highly intelligent, unlike your message.
Some Person: -BLOCKED-
Me: ๐
#DumbDMs
Some Person: Are you really a woman?
Me: Yes, I am. As in, born as and identify as female.
Some Person: Prove it
Me: Okay.๐คช๐
Some Person: Is that a rattlesnake?
Me: No, it's two rattlesnakes...probably more. Fact: Rattlesnakes can have 8-15 babies per clutch.
@random_snakes Ah... an unenlightened #MAGAMoron is so terrified of snakes that he felt compelled to send you some #DumbDMs?
Are you sure it wasn't @tedcruz? He has no respect for anyone but himself & fits the profile for #Ophidiophobia.
#DumbDMs
Some Person: Your account is ridiculous.
Me: ๐ค๐คก๐ฟ๐คช๐๐ Ya think?
#DumbDMs
Some Person: Snakes shouldn't be used as a fashion accessory.
Me: Correct. Live snakes are not fashion accessories. However, images of snakes should TOTALLY be used as a fashion accessory because snakes are cool AF! ๐คฉ๐๐๐๐งฅ
Some person: ๐๐๐๐๐
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