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It was 2023, and I was in Kaduna. I wanted to get to Bauchi. I knew the traditional route was through Kano, but for some strange reason, I just thought, nah, Kano isn't for me. So I opened Google Maps and started looking for an alternative route. I zoomed in and out for a while until I found this small road. It wasn't a dirt road, it was definitely tarred but it was really small. The route passed through a town called Saminaka. From what I could see, it was mostly vegetation, hills and farming communities. The only problem was that banditry was at its peak around that time. Well... I didn't really mind. I had already convinced myself that if it got to that stage, I wasn't going to let myself get captured. So I got to the park at Kawo, close to 1 Division, and found a vehicle going that way. By my calculations, if we leave in 2 hours, we should get to Bauchi before nightfall. We eventually set off. Now, this driver would drive for a while, pull over at some random village, and personally deliver a parcel to someone. The issue is, we were the ones waiting for them not the other way round and it could run into minutes, The man was driving like a commercial driver and a logistics company had merged into one person. At some point I started warning him. "This baba, you better wake up o." He would just smile. And continue doing his village thing. Meanwhile, I'm sitting there calculating the time, the route and the amount of daylight we had left. This man genuinely thought I wasn't angry. We kept going like this for hours. Eventually, we arrived in Bauchi at about 2100Hrs. My original ETA had been comfortably before nightfall. We were now hours behind just because we didn't understand each other.