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It’s Long COVID Awareness Month. For me, it’s also just past the 5-year anniversary of a life I no longer recognize. As a nurse, I’m used to having the answers. But Long Covid doesn’t follow the rules. Because my symptoms are so vast and varied and my speech has been affected by strokes, I often find myself dismissed by the very medical community I belong to. I went from being an Oncology RN, mom, avid hiker and forager, and community worker to a patient fighting for air in a system that often overlooks us. LC isn't just 'tiredness' or 'fatigue'. It’s a systemic, life-altering vascular and neurological battle. I have been passed around from specialist to specialist all agreeing I need collaboration and investigation but none willing to go that extra mile. If you have a friend or family member dealing with LC: Don't disappear. The isolation is as bad as the illness. Truly listen to them. Even if they 'look' fine or struggle to find the words. Please be patient. Just listen. I will never stop fighting to get well. I will never stop fighting for equitable care. We need #TestsTreatmentPrevention We need #LongCovidSocialServices We need #InHomeSupportServices We need #PreventionofAirborneIllness We need #Compassion I will keep fighting as long as I can communicate through any means. I still have empathy, community care and compassion for my fellow humans no matter how badly this has gone. I won't ever care if I get it in return because as they say the ignorant are innocent and the wicked are usually ignorant. The ones that do know and are covering up this mess though? I hope they can never truly look apon their reflection again. I hope their souls despair for harming and killing so many for greed and coverups. But for the rest. I only wish they get educated. This virus is in the bone and blood. It's in megakaryocytes and platelets. Nobody is safe or protected. For all the orgs that say they are there to help. When a patient joins, they need support to be able to help. If you are not supporting patients then why are you saying you are there to help us? None provide actual help for us that I am aware of. I have tried to join up. I am so sick I need support to help and nobody, not one of you helped me back from an org. For other nurses in my shoes. I SEE you. Having medical knowledge and going through this new disease is by far the most hypocritical thing we have likely all experienced. I mean we took care of the most vulnerable and went to bat against all to help them and this is what we got. Silencing, being kicked to the curb, having to fight for diagnostics and labs, having to literally act stupid to get help. It's enraging. If I ever get well enough I will be visiting my old stomping grounds to give lectures to students and staff nurses. We gave our lives for the care of others just to be beaten down in our time of need. Who will ease our way in this life? Okay that's enough for today. I shed so many tears writing this. It took two days of writing and erasing and writing some more. Feelings are hard. Facts are easier for me. I will get back to facts now.