Top Tweets for #LifeAsMe
🦉 why is when the cat complains about your sneezing, she gets pets, but when I complain, I get banter?!
🔥 she's cuter than you
🦉 DAMMIT, YOU'RE RIGHT
🔥 I mean lookit those ears, she has full control and you can only sort of wiggle
🦉 I can't argue with that
#LifeAsMe
Getchu someone who not only isn’t phased by your trauma, but who snuggles your face after you cried about your social paradig
And then gives you snacks or drinks
Trust me #LifeAsMe
In case anyone was wondering
Lunchables Extra Cheesy Pizza goes well with a red blend. The wine makes the bread taste a little sour but the pizzas make the wine much more complex.
Highly recommend a couple sour cream and cheddar ruffles between sips too
I am so tired
#LifeAsMe
To the people who think cats don’t show affection, we were gone for five days and our newest cat reacted this way when we got home #LifeAsMe #CatPeople
My house a is “no toxic-masculinity, only burning” type of house #LifeAsMe
Getting surprised twice, taking a day off, and realizing on record 7 we should just accept that we chose a good record player…
Being married is awesome #LifeAsMe
Of all the game-night-with-coworkers drama I was prepared for, it wasn’t one of them still being at work because he’s stuck in the elevator and no one knowing #LifeAsMe
I will not elaborate #LifeAsMe
You guys have no idea the power I feel.
My unhinged nature is so supported, even the government knows.
I have a cat who makes a trilling meow before mad-dashing through the house so she can come give me an affection-headbutt to the eye.
And I have so many snacks #LifeAsMe
Getchu a bestie who knows that being called Kirkland ketchup is a motherfucking compliment #LifeAsMe
When your best friend is like “I literally never doubt your ability to take anyone, just FYI” when you’re in your 30s and discussing potential in-laws, yet your brain’s first response is “I should fight god” #LifeAsMe
When your 65yo coworker asks "why is this client lying to us" and your answer is "because they're crackheads," you know you have a positive working environment. #LifeAsMe
When the phrase “let’s see much past-me loved us” is immediately followed by dinosaur-like happy-noises, you know it’s surprise chocolate cookie time #LifeAsMe
I would like to take this time to announce
My coworkers
Have given me a new title in our discord server…
Trouble Child
I AM TECHNICALLY OLDER THAN ALL OF THEM
#LifeAsMe
My SexyHousemate and I agree that a specific number of heartbeats in a home is too much
We also agree on specific addendums
One of which being if we ever find a female orange cat, it doesn’t matter how many live in our home, she is my daughter
This is love #LifeAsMe
Professionally, I'm at the place where I'm allowed to respond to "interesting name" with "thanks, it was a birthday gift from my parents" without anyone judging. #LifeAsMe
Seriously guys.
You all joked that Stardew Valley would take over my life.
But I haven't played any other game since I got it.
It's all I want to do.
ALL THE TIME.
I HAVE THE NEW POKEMON SNAP AND STILL HAVEN'T STARTED IT BECAUSE I NEED TO GO DOWN THOSE MINES #LifeAsMe
🦉 The tornado is passing right below us, so we shouldn't have to worry
🔥 I'm immune to tornados
🦉 ...what?
🔥 I don't ever want to test this, but it's a theory #LifeAsMe
I know it’s wrong to assert my dominance in my family by out drinking them...
But how else do you do it when you don’t want to violent? #LifeAsMe
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