Top Tweets for #NotMyDad

men will smoke a huge slab of meat and be like “ok dinner is ready!” and it’s just the meat. No sides, nothing to drink, just here is my meat.

If my father is reading this, which he may be because I found his tiktok today, I’m making chicken rice and corn and it’s gonna be better than you ever made it and you don’t get to have ANY it’s ALL for me

The King and Queen aren’t due to arrive in Australia until Friday but already their first visit to an overseas realm of the reign is making headlines. There’s even debate about the legal status of Charles III’s title as King of Australia. https://t.co/Rt6tJz7SXm

Tim Walz only reminds liberals of a father figure because we've had 40 years of media that represents dads as goofy bumbling dorks If he reminds you of your actual father, I can only offer you my condolences

TO ANY MAN THAT TALK TO HIM AND THEY BUDS? JUST MAKE SURE TO HIDE ANY FEMALE FROM HIM. THEY TELL ME TIKAL THE ONLY ONE DEALIN' WITH YO SHIT, YOU TWO DATIN' YET YOU NEVER SEE HER FACE. AND TAILS HAVEN'T SEE YA, WHY AIN'T YOU AROUND? CERTIFIED LOVER BOY? CERTIFIED DEADBEAT.