Top Tweets for #RabbitHomeLife
7YR: Dad, what’s this bird called? [holds up a toy]
Me: that’s a Porg
7YR: ok, [turns to 8YR] PORG ATTACK! [throws it as hard as possible]
#Porg #StarWars #RabbitHomeLife
8YR: [opening bathroom door]
Wife: What are you doing??
8YR: I just need to wash my hands because [the 7YR] is in the other bathroom.
Wife: …and I’m not? [while sitting on the toilet]
8YR: ummm… you don’t count.
#RabbitHomeLife
#kids
#Privacy
7YR: Be safe!
Me: I will!
7YR: If you get hurt or in a crash, just come home.
Me: haha! Okay buddy.
7YR: We have some bandaids here.
#SoThoughtful
#RabbitHomeLife
6YR: I’m scared of a monster coming out of my closet!
Me: Well, you can fight them, right?
6YR: Right! I have my sword, my ghost sword, and my ass!
Me: …what?
6YR: [thinking]…Axe
#RabbitHomeLife
Me: Why is the cover off your pillow?
8YR: Because I wanted to have a shark sleeping bag
6YR: I didn’t want a shark sleeping bag!
8YR: I did…
#creativity
#RabbitHomeLife
Me: [the the 2YR dressed like a lion] Hi little Leo! Wait…you’re not a Leo.
Wife: No, he’s—
2YR: Ice Cream Truck
Me: Wait, what’s your sign?
2YR: Ice Cream Truck
Me: that’s WAY better than the other zodiac signs!
#RabbitHomeLife #IceCreamTruck
8YR: Do you know what scares me?
Me: No. What are you scared of?
8YR: I don’t know… [walks off]
Me: …o….k…
#RabbitHomeLife
8YR: [crawling across a booth in a restaurant]
Me: what’s wrong? You have ants in your pants?
8YR: No! I’m just crazy!
Truer words have never been spoken
#RabbitHomeLife
8YR: I have a special connection with animals!
Me: oh yeah? How?
8YR: by being nice to them!
Me: Mine’s called the food chain
Wife: [glares at me]
Too clever for my own good.
#RabbitHomeLife
6YR: [points to left shoulder] Dad! Is this left?
Me: Yes, buddy, that’s your left
8YR: [faces him and then looks confused] …on your right?
#RabbitHomeLife
Explaining his skeleton dinosaurs:
6YR: these are ones who didn’t make it, but still think they’re alive…
Me: …dude…that’s dark
6YR: they’re dead
#GhostStories #RabbitHomeLife
8YR flaps her arms while walking through the room
Me: what kind of bird are you?
8YR [looks at me with disgust]: I’m a dragon!
Me: …oh, sorry
[flaps away]
#RabbitHomeLife
7YR: Can we play Princesses?
Me: How do you play that?
7YR: I can be the princess and you can be the horse!
#TruthHurts
#RabbitHomeLife
6YR: remember the fish with the sharp teeth?
Me: which one?
6YR: the one with the skeleton we saw at the fish museum!
Me: …um…you mean aquarium?
#RabbitHomeLife #fish #kids
6YR on the breakfast he got at school.
6YR: I looked in the bag, and it was bread from French.
Mom: French bread?
6YR: Yes. And it was cut in half and with meat I did not like.
7YR: Did they give you a qua-caunt?
6YR: Yes. A qua-caunt, bread from French.
#RabbitHomeLife
7YR: I’m half dragon, half pterodactyl, and half eagle!
Me: that’s great! But I don’t think you understand how fractions work.
7YR: what are fractions?
Me: Exactly my point…
#RabbitHomeLife #Math
5-Year-Old Stories
A long time ago, in Kansas, there were lots of trucks. Then one day, they disappeared…
…
…
…
…
And then they came back!
#RabbitHomeLife
#Stories
#Kids
5YR: Want to hear about the time I unbuttoned my own shirt?
Me: ...sure
5YR: I buttoned and unbuttoned my own shirt!
Me: ...
5YR: ...
Me: ...
5YR: [stares]
Me: ...good job!
#literal #literally #RabbitHomeLife
My morning summed up:
5YR: I like drums! [Bang, Bang, BANG!]
6YR: I’m a pony! [gallops away]
1YR: Uh, oh! Uh oh! [Points at a problem he created]
#kids #RabbitHomeLife
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