Top Tweets for #ReidsTimeline
10:35pm - Miami’s draft pick is skipped for tampering with Tom Brady and Sean Payton, neither of which actually signed with the Dolphins, which is like paying alimony for someone who wouldn’t marry you in the first place.
#NFLDraft #nfldraft2023 #ReidsTimeline #MiamiDolphins
8:47pm - Patriots trade their pick to Pittsburgh, just so Pitt can take OT Broderick Jones before the Jets. A confused Jets front office opens their draft plans, only to find they’ve been replaced w/ photocopies of Bill Belichick’s butt.
#NFLDraft #nfldraft2023 #ReidsTimeline
8:39pm – The Detroit draft room is shown high-fiving and celebrating, thankful to finally have a player on their roster not currently suspended for gambling.
#NFLDraft #nfldraft2023 #ReidsTimeline #DetroitLions
7:19pm – With the 1st pick, Carolina takes QB Bryce Young. ESPN discusses the fact if Young were taller and bigger, he would have been a much better prospect, which since he was the first selection doesn’t seem mathematically possible.
#NFLDraft #nfldraft2023 #ReidsTimeline
9:06pm – A commercial airs where the band U2 seems to be playing in a sphere floating in the sky, which makes me wonder if this last week we’ve been sending fighter jets to shoot down unauthorized concerts of the “Achtung Baby” album.
#NFL #SuperBowlLVII #ReidsTimeline
8:00pm - A week after LeBron James says he feels like the greatest basketball player of all time, Michael Jordan gets an entire movie just about him getting his shoe deal.
#NFL #SuperBowlLVII #ReidsTimeline
Just a random thought on my part, but maybe the NFL shouldn't be buttering the field at halftime.
#HowAboutSomeFooting #NFL #SuperBowlLVII #ReidsTimeline
7:32pm – Rihanna sings the lyrics “We found love in a hopeless place,” which I can only assume is the Cleveland Browns locker room.
#NFL #SuperBowlLVII #ReidsTimeline
6:17pm – A Harrison Butker field goal attempt misses when it bounces off the upright and downs a Chinese weather balloon.
#NFL #SuperBowlLVII #ReidsTimeline
5:29pm - Chris Stapleton sings the National Anthem. As he finishes, somewhere in the stadium, Donna Kelce silently decides which of her children she loves more.
#NFL #SuperBowlLVII #ReidsTimeline
9:44pm: Dallas is up. The Cowboys take tackle Tyler Smith, who wasn’t even graded as a first-round pick on Tyler Smith’s draft board.
#NFLDraft2022 #ReidsTimeline
#DallasCowboys
8:00pm: In Las Vegas, Atlanta selects wide receiver Drake London to replace Calvin Ridley, who is suspended for a year for gambling. Not surprisingly, ESPN fails to have an “Irony Analyst” on set to address this point.
#NFLDraft2022 #ReidsTimeline #Vegas #Atl #Falcons
7:38pm: The NY Giants go on the clock. An on-screen graphic indicates “Team Needs: Offensive Line, Edge Rusher, Thoughts, Prayers.”
#NFLDraft2022 #ReidsTimeline #NYGiants
7:17pm: The Jaguars deliver their first pick to the Commissioner. Due to budget cuts in Jacksonville, the pick is just the name “Travon Walker” scrawled on a leftover Columbus-area bar napkin they found on Urban Meyer’s desk.
#NFLDraft2022 #ReidsTimeline
7:00pm: ESPN’s NFL Draft coverage begins live from Las Vegas.
7:02pm: ESPN's broadcast goes an entire eighty-six seconds before making the first “What happens in Vegas” joke. The bookies pay out on the “under” on that wager.
#NFLDraft2022 #ReidsTimeline
Oh crap. Now I have to go back to my life for seven months.
What are we supposed to do on the weekends? Do I need to start mowing something?
#NFL #SuperBowl #ReidsTimeline
9:50pm: After 58 minutes with minimal penalties, the refs start dropping flags like a drunk United Nations janitor.
#NFL #SuperBowl #ReidsTimeline
8:25pm: The halftime show ends. On the way offstage, Snoop Dogg sees his shadow, which means we’re in for six more weeks of “win-tizzle.”
#NFL #SuperBowl #ReidsTimeline
8:33pm: The Bengals score on the first play of the second half to take a lead.
8:36pm: The Bengals get an interception on the next offensive play.
8:38pm: The Bengals steal Matthew Stafford’s car and go joyriding with Dr. Dre and Snoop Dogg.
#NFL #SuperBowl #ReidsTimeline
7:32pm: The Bengals run a trick play and get a touchdown pass from running back Joe Mixon to make the game 13-10, Rams. Odell Beckham Jr.’s dad reminds everyone on Twitter that Mixon has a higher lifetime quarterback rating than Baker Mayfield.
#NFL #SuperBowl #ReidsTimeline
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