Top Tweets for #RetardNation

BREAKING: Trump administration prepares 90-day total diesel export ban, with Trump inclined to announce it by the end of the week, per Politico. Energy Secretary Chris Wright called energy CEOs on Tuesday night to tell them a 90-day ban was coming in the coming days, and a number of them immediately called the White House to push back. One oil industry executive who has discussed the ban with senior White House officials says Trump would consider any blowback and consequences "a December problem." An external adviser to the administration says there has been "a bunch of frantic outreach" searching for alternatives and calls the ban "a terrible idea," yet Trump is expecting to proceed anyways. It would be the first US diesel export ban in history, and Europe would be hit hardest as the biggest customer of the world's largest diesel exporter, with Russia, the second largest, already halted. US diesel is at a record $6.53 a gallon.

Many people think that the words “Artificial Intelligence” are inaccurate, and very ineloquent, relative to AI, or Artificial Intelligence. A far more elegant and accurate description of this new phenomena would be Superior Intelligence (SI) or, Extreme Intelligence (EI) or, Supreme Intelligence (SI). This is a Poll, and I would appreciate everybody voting! Which is the best name for this ever growing “Revolution?” President DONALD J. TRUMP

BREAKING NEWS: I am pleased to announce that the United States of America has entered into an Agreement with The Kingdom of Denmark, and Greenland, that gives the United States permanent control over security, and all other needs, in Greenland, completely addressing ALL of our many U.S. concerns. There will be NO COST to the United States! At my direction, we worked with representatives of Denmark and Greenland to guarantee that the United States will FOREVER have the complete ability to do what is necessary in Greenland in order to secure and defend the security of Greenland, and the United States of America. Additionally, from now on, no U.S. adversary can EVER have a base in Greenland, have a military presence in Greenland, or make sensitive investments in Greenland, without our express written approval. For over 100 years, Presidents have known the strategic importance of Greenland, but NONE of them were able to do anything about it. I am proud to be the President that permanently and conclusively addressed this very important situation. This is an “Infinite Life” Agreement, there is no end! We are very honored and proud of what has just taken place, and everything agreed to today will be cherished by the American People. We will immediately begin the process of developing a large Military presence in the appropriate part of Greenland, of which there are many. We will work with the people of Greenland in its development and construction. This solution is a great one for the United States of America, Denmark, Greenland, and all of our Allies. We look forward to working with the wonderful people of Denmark and Greenland toward a magnificent future with respect to this large, and highly strategic, parcel of land. We will be very protective of it! This is a dream come true for the United States of America, one that is very important, historic, and special. Thank you for your attention to this matter! President DONALD J. TRUMP

BREAKING: US diesel prices surge above $5.90/gallon for the first time in history, with prices in some states now above a record $8.00/gallon. This comes as Iran has rejects the latest US peace proposal and the US and Iran exchange strikes in the Strait of Hormuz. This is especially problematic as the US has officially entered its peak diesel demand period. Inflation expectations continue to mount as a result.