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Congratulations to The VAESP for receiving not one but TWO awards during today’s 2026 NAESP General Assembly! #vaespchat #VaPrinciPALs @NAESP @KbartonKrista @egoodman1215 @EdCosentino11 @AndrewBuchheit

A4: SO IMPORTANT! #VAESPchat
q4: In The Soul of Civility I argue for "unbundling people."
It means separating a person from a single statement or deed, and seeing that part of them that we may not like or agree with in light of the whole of them, their inherent dignity and worth. #VAESPCHAT
THANK YOU TO @LexiOHudson FOR LEADING THIS INSPIRING CHAT TONIGHT! JOIN US ON SUNDAY, February 22, 2026 AT 8PM EST FOR the next #VAESPCHAT with
Kindness Advocate: @DrChrisCulver TOPIC: Kindness I hope you have a wonderful, MOTIVATING, and positive
Month. Take care!!!

q4: In The Soul of Civility I argue for "unbundling people."
It means separating a person from a single statement or deed, and seeing that part of them that we may not like or agree with in light of the whole of them, their inherent dignity and worth. #VAESPCHAT
@SoniaMatthew2 @ChuckMossEDU great meeting you here on #VAESPCHAT! I'd love your thoughts on the children's version of my book, The Soul of Civiltiy, that I'm writing. Please DM me your email and I'll send you some of the stories. Thanks for being here!
#VAESPCHAT
A3
"I refuse to be indignant."
3) I don’t decide what people choose to say, but I choose whether or not I give them the power to offend me. #VAESPCHAT
@MHawley_3 I love that, Megan! Each and everyone deserves dignity and kindness. It takes empathy to realize that we each have our own lived experiences that should be honored.#VAESPCHAT
@LexiOHudson In disagreement, I tend to prioritize engagement. I think it is important for me to engage by listening, restating what was shared, and provide clarity. I believe you have to address the issue and if I was wrong, I have to own it. #VAESPCHAT
@ChuckMossEDU Very true, friend! We have to lead the engagement by first being aware and mindful! #VAESPCHAT
#VAESPCHAT
A2 I find that people have learned to be more comfortable with being passive-aggressive because they find it uncomfortable having difficult conversations
(for reasons such as people getting angry with them if they disagree or challenge what they are saying/doing)
Q3: Unoffendability is a core idea in The Soul of Civility.
I call it the superpower of the 21st century.
We cannot control what others say or do, but we can choose how we respond.
That choice builds mental resilience. 1/ #VAESPCHAT
A2 I would say both - we need to recognize that everyone has their own lived experiences and treat everyone with dignity while utilizing politeness to solve and find common ground to move forward. #VAESPchat
A2: Great question. I hadn’t thought about it much until I read your book. I think we do see more politeness and then what happens everyone leaves and talks negatively about the situation or person to others. It keeps topics at the surface level. #Vaespchat
In moments of disagreement, do you tend to prioritize smoothness or engagement, and why? And what are you seeing more of in your classrooms? I argue that too often we settle for mere politeneness--the appearance of niceness when we should instead aim for civiltiy #VAESPCHAT
A2) I think engagement is the better choice - without engagement, there’s no measurable progress. #VAESPCHAT
A1 my politeness: listen with patience
my civility: ask questions with authentic curiosity
Not always successful: hiding some of my bias…
#inclusionmeansAll
#VAESPChat
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