Top Tweets for #WantonWriterThoughts
#WantonWriterThoughts A bar was walked into by the passive voice.
#WantonWriterThoughts My wife blocked me on FB because I post too many bird puns. Well, toucan play at that game.
#WantonWriterThoughts Somebody stole all my lamps and I couldn't be more de-lighted.
#WantonWriterThoughts What's the difference between a hippo and a Zippo? One is really heavy and the other is a little lighter.
#WantonWriterThoughts "Just so you know, you're the very first thing on my New Year’s resolution to-do list."
#WantonWriterThoughts I have a pet termite. I named him Clint. Clint Eats Wood.
#WantonWriterThoughts Respect people who wear glasses. They paid good money to see you.
#WantonWriterThoughts I was at a really emotional wedding this last weekend. Even the cake was in tiers.
#WantonWriterThoughts Your car has been keyed. The good news is the damage appears to B minor.
#WantonWriterThoughts I got a thesaurus for Christmas, but all the pages were blank. I have no words to describe how disappointed I was.
#WantonWriterThoughts I was robbed by six dwarves today. Not Happy.
#WantonWriterThoughts I saw a billboard with a picture of a clock on it. I guess it's a sign of the times.
#WantonWriterThoughts I get very annoyed when people mix up there, their, and they're. From now on I'm going to point it out, weather they like it or not.
#WantonWriterThoughts Shout out to the people who don't know what the opposite of in is.
#WantonWriterThoughts Did you hear the one about the elephant with diarrhea? It's all over town.
#WantonWriterThoughts Remember, if you lose a sock in the dryer it comes back as a tupperware lid that doesn't fit any of your containers.
#WantonWriterThoughts Let your weirdo light shine bright so other weirdos can find you.
#WantonWriterThoughts Of all the inventions of the past 100 years, the dry erase board must be the most remarkable.
#WantonWriterThoughts Due to the massive increase in deliveries, Fed-EX and UPS have joined forces and are now FED-UP!
#WantonWriterThoughts An A, a C, and an E walk into a bar. The bartender says, "We don't serve minors in here." So, the C left. A and E then shared an open fifth.
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