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An excerpt from a little project I've been feverishly and excitedly working on that you may be interested in checking out soon: I have loved porn for as long as I have had a way to watch people fuck. I am a millennial. That means I was part of the first wave of guys who got high-speed internet and a PC in their own room. I did not stumble on a dirty magazine once and panic. I built a collection. I archived it. I treated it like something worth keeping. It never occurred to me that I was supposed to feel sick about it. Watching sex felt natural. It felt human. It felt like something you could enjoy without turning it into a confession. College made that even harder to argue with. My whole dorm had a porn server. Guys connected to it, downloaded off it, talked about it like it was a shared utility. Roommates came to me to talk sex and porn. Some of them watched with me. I could see it with my own eyes: a lot of men were into this. So why was I going to volunteer for shame? I did not grow up in a house that treated sex like a stain, and I have my parents to thank for that. I also did not come out of childhood as the kid who blended in. I got picked on for being a little different and dancing to my own drum. That ended up being useful. I already had the habit of questioning what I was told to believe. When sex shamers started projecting their fear onto porn—and onto the men who liked it—I had somewhere to stand besides their verdict. Later I accepted something else that made the whole picture click: I am bisexual. A lot of bi men run hot. We like sex. We like porn. We like looking. Unbeknownst to kid-me, that was not a private defect I needed to sand down. It was part of my wiring. Sharing porn and jerking off with buddies growing up was not some secret failure of masculinity. It was how a few of us bonded as horny young men who were more honest about it than the room was supposed to be. Suddenly it made sense why I never fit with the crowd that looked at a sex video and saw something naughty or dirty. I looked at it and saw something raw, human, and worth taking seriously.