Top Tweets for #allowmetoconfess
#AllowMeToConfess I legitimately enjoy it when my profile gets creeped on. Hey you ๐
#AllowMeToConfess I picture most of you naked when we talk. Sorry.
#AllowMeToConfess I am totally over the moon for @daveitferris' #365Sparks project. Maybe that wasn't a well kept secret. ๐
#AllowMeToConfess I'm married...to the money
#AllowMeToConfess I ate the breakroom pizza. If you wanted it, you shoulda put a name on it, Larry.
I am the IT guy in charge of Hillary's email server. Man she gets a lot of boner pill emails. #allowmetoconfess
#AllowMeToConfess TO NOTHING! YOU AIN'T GOT NOTHING ON ME COPPER!
I value my dogs opinion #AllowMeToConfess
#AllowMeToConfess You make me smile
I think my dogs are much kinder than my friends #AllowMeToConfess
I am D.B. Cooper. My entire life has been a sham. #allowmetoconfess
#AllowMeToConfess I've had a crush on the same guy since I was 3 years old.
#allowmetoconfess nothing...my skeletons are staying in the closets.
#AllowMeToConfess not without my lawyer present ..and you forgot to read my Miranda Rights ...role playing cops is soo much fun
#AllowMeToConfess I once killed a drifter to get an erection...
Don't bother asking for details.
I woke up two hours later than anticipated. #AllowMeToConfess
"When they say 2% milk, I don't know what the other 98% is." -Andy #ParksandRec
#AllowMeToConfess I am not perfect, I'm flawed, unpredictable and human!!!
#AllowMeToConfess How much I hate my fuckin' job
#AllowMeToConfess I have thick eyebrows.
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