Top Tweets for #crowquotes
Did you see “Mr. Hollis Open?” He’s a music teacher, but his kid is death.
#crowquotes
Crow asks google on his phone what a “klutz” is. The phone starts defining “clitoris”
#crowquotes
“If my arm ever gets cut off, I’ll have to get a prostate arm.”
#crowquotes
We’re trying to explain D.B. Cooper to crow. He asks google on his phone: “who was the guy that got away with jacking off a plane?”
#crowquotes
Me on August 1st: oh, I need to change my calendar.
Crow: I changed mine before I woke up.
#crowquotes
Crow: at Disneyland I met Chip and Dale.
Me: the chipmunks or the male strippers?
Crow: Well, they weren’t wearing any clothes.
#crowquotes
Crow: Looks like Emily left her phone here.
Dan: Well, did you call her and tell her it’s here?
Crow: ... umm...
#crowquotes #danquotes
Crow: You’re family if you watch each other pee.
#crowquotes
Crow: I can’t find my jacket. I think someone took it.
L.T. : What does it look like?
Crow: I don’t know, I’d have to see it.
#crowquotes
L.T.: How late do you work today?
Weazel: Till 7 or 8, whichever comes first.
#crowquotes #weazelquotes
*horse drawn carriage shown cruising at Santa Anita racetrack...
Crow: I think the queen must be there or something.
#crowquotes
Grandma always told me not to flush too hard. #crowquotes
Crow: Did you know in Europe you can drink when you’re 15?
Church: So 15 year olds can drink in London?
Crow: No. Not in London. In Europe.
#crowquotes
L.T. : Have another Red Bull.
Crow: If I drink too many, I’ll pee red.
#crowquotes
They say twins shouldn't stay apart.
.
.
.
.
#thecrownicles #crowquotes #usa #uk #politics #twins #twinning #hairstyle #hair #style #danger #dangermultiplied #leaders #leadersofchoice #thursdaythoughts #thoughts #thursday
(On the phone waiting on hold)
Duck: They don’t answer the phone in lawn and garden. They’re short staffed and underhanded.
#duckquotes
#crowquotes
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