Top Tweets for #freethrowscriptures
"Kilch the middle child was down at the river washing dishes for the animals when all of a sudden out of nowhere a lightning bolt man showed up with a suitcase full of lifts."
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"And Pessimo the Darbali came down from Ho Chi Minh Mountain Flats and went to the Dark Boy theme park only to find that the happy dashers were making hat tricks out of tat-hricks."
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I believe it was Mustachio Part 12: Leonard Part 6 who said "The ladies room has a cabernacle problem and everybody's evident in that they have their own existence and also copies of the movie eXistenZ" the Bible says.
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#eXistenZ
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Let me wash your sink in the blood of Lazarus 22:13: It was then that the Mountain Rhinoceros Leader walked down to Marble Factory Man and said "You're no longer allowed to do business without a prohibitive amount of tariffs."
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This concludes free throw scriptures on this account until @MattGourley and @markmcconville grace us with more in the future.
Bless you and go screw.
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#goscrew
2/ "And my boogie came down from Boogie Mountain and I gave him a big kiss on his forehead and that’s a point for the Shrimps."
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"And Butter Babe the Carnival Ridic had a slow tick and it turned out you couldn’t tell she had a tick it was so slow.
Swish the Mayor of the City had been disgraced and was forced to go on medical leave."
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"Everyone in the village gathered around as the northern lights had gone south. The Aurora Borealis changed his name to Phyllis and said "I like to dance. Why don’t everybody take my hand? I’m just a big ol' jingle jangle in the sky.”
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2/ "He gave himself a slop beard and went down to the barber and said “How much to take this down?” And the barber just ate it off and said “I’ve never been so well fed. You, my friend, are a village vendor and a meat market man.”
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"Hildebeast the woman who stayed up for 62 days was contacted by the Guinness World Book of Records.
And then the mountain itself went down the mountain and said “I just went down on myself. I must be Christ Holy Roller Himself.”
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"And then a goat kid who was in fact a human kid, not a goat kid, went up the mountain and said “Hey, everybody’s gone down, I like it up here because I’m a loner goat."
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"And Lilac the Leper came down but half of him stayed up because his body parts were dustin’ off into a chalk pup.
It was at that very moment that Maggiano the Italian restaurant man went to get his hard breadstick preparing for battle."
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"And then it was then that we realized that John Leguizamo was 65 yrs older than Leonardo DiCaprio but they're supposed to be brothers in a movie or some shit. And Jill Armuizamo also said as much."
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"And Tybalt - not the one from Juliet’s sheath - came down from Romeo Mountain and said “Hey I’m someone’s cousin and I bet I’m a rat catcher and gonna die for two tits to a dollar."
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"Well then Jim Martin left the band and left the door open for any goddamn guitar tech to take over and I believe a guy named Dean Minto played on a thing. And then Gary Cherone showed up and said "I can handle it, what’s wrong with me?"
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"And he met there Neneh of the Cherries who was in a buffalo stance so hard sometimes she couldn’t stand up or sit down - she was always in that stance.
And Faith No More found a little more faith because John Hiatt sang a song about it, I believe."
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"And Peabo the Bryson came down from a sack-like village where people lived in dust holes just so they could get water gazelles to mate with them in a standard procedure."
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"And then Tortoise the one-friended kid gave himself a ridiculous amount of turkey baster buff. Then Clive Owen went in the kitchen and started chive throwin’."
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"And Barbazon the modeling god came down and said "Why don’t you give me a fashion runway step and i’ll give you 6 dresses and a dick wallet." And then Torto the zoo orphan had his parents select him from a lineup of children men."
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"And from the darkness bounced a lemur who said "Howdy I’m shrove Tuesday Larry" and he healed many who come forth with a case of the uglies and turned them into turnips but at least they weren’t ugly.”
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