Top Tweets for #lamertamer
eBay is so useless. I tried to look up lighters and it gave me 13,749 matches.
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#punmehard #puns #lamertamer #punprincess #WritingCommunity #writerslife #writer #amwriting
What kind of shorts do clouds wear?
Thunderwear
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Groans are gratefully accepted, tip the staff, Iβm here all week.
#punsarelife #lamertamer #WritingCommunity #Writers #youloveit
Did you hear about the guy who told too many jokes about German sausages?
It was just the wurst.
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My puns arenβt very conspiguous, but nothing can grunt you eternal happiness.
#lamertamer #lamebutloveable #WritingCommunity #writer #puns #StayAtHome
Who tells the best eggs puns?
Comedi-hens!
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As my life poach once told me, my puns are a completely scrambled.
Thatβs all yolks!
#lamertamer #lamebutloveable #puns #WritingCommunity #writing #writerslife
What did the janitor say when he jumped out of the closet?
SUPPLIES!
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I tried to sweep this under the table, but I have a thinking feeling. Iβll just go into the irons den.
#lamertamer #lamebutloveable #WritingCommunity #writers #writing #Isolation #StayHome
I went to an archaeology party recently where they were only looking for remains of a lower leg.
Itβs was a real SHIN-DIG.
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If you let nature run itβs CORPSE, TOMBmorrow is sure to be better.
#lamertamer #lamebutloveable #punprincess #WritingCommunity #Writers
Did you hear about the woman who only travels around in a zeppelin? She doesnβt realise thereβs quicker methods to travel.
Ignorance is blimps.
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A message from the train of command - keep calm and carriage on.
#lamertamer #lamebutloveable #WritingCommunity #Writers
As authors we are all human beans.
And together we will rice.
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Always #book on the bright side of life, act your #page and find a new author to #read dry.
#lamertamer #punprincess #WritingCommunity #writer #writerslife
What do baristas say to their least-favorite customers?
You mocha me crazy!
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Rise and grind, tweeties, itβs going to be a brewtiful day. Donβt worry,be frappe and wake me up before you cocoa.
#lamertamer #punprincess #Writers #writer #writinglife #amwriting
Did you hear about the guy that named his horse Mayo?
Mayo Neighs.
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I REALLY needed a laugh, Iβm not even sorry for the shockingly bad pun.
#lamertamer #writerslife #writingcommunity #amwriting #punprincess #sorrynotsorry
You know what really bugs me?
Insect puns.
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Itβs swarm in here, and Iβm watching for zombees, but hive it your way, Iβll fly out of here.
#lamertamer @lamebutloveable #punprincess #bugpuns #writerslife #WritingCommunity
What do you call children who are born in a whorehouse?
Brothel sprouts.
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Iβm going to pay for this one... going rate is what? $50 an hour?
#lamertamer #lamebutloveable #punprincess #writerslife #writing #WritingCommunity #amwriting
What do you call a girl with an hourglass figure?
The perfect waist of time.
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Give me a hand, Iβm having rhe time of my life.
#lamertamer #lamebuuloveable #punprincess #WritingCommunity #writerslife #amwriting
I nearly kicked my dog out.
But we renegotiated the terms of his leash.
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Welcome to the bark-side of the moon. Where anything is pawsible.
#lamertamer #lamebutloveable #punprincess #dogs #puns #WritingCommunity #writer
What kind of keys does the Gingerbread Man carry?
Cook-keys!
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I am baking new ground, could be the batch of the day.
#lamertamer #lamebutloveable #punprincess #WritingCommunity #Writers #writing
When Noah was loading the ark, where did he put the bees?
In the ark-hives!
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Iβm on my best bee-hive-iour... could be my inner queen-bee.
#lamertamer #lamebutloveable #punprincess #WritingCommunity #Writers #writerslife #puns
What kind of cars do cooks drive?
Chef-rolets.
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Donβt look so surprised, UTE love it, besides, I said it with tender-loving CAR.
#lamertamer #punprincess #lamebutloveable #writing #WritingCommunity #writers #writerslife
Enjoying my puns too much is a grave mistake.
You might find yourself six feet pun-der.
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Donβt let the RUN go down on me.
#lamertamer #lamebutloveable #punprincess #writerslife #writing #WritingCommunity
Having sex is like playing bridge.
If you donβt have a good partner, youβd better have a good hand.
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Go HUG or go home.
#lamertamer #punprincess #sexpuns #lamebutloveable #kissthis #WritingCommunity #writers
You know, itβs totally my fault that the quality of my puns here is eroding.
Although that was never what I sediment.
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Donβt take me for granite.
#lamertamer #lamebutloveable #punprincess #youloveit #groanforme #writing #writerslife #writers
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