Top Tweets for #shitTimSays
*2 hours into work*
“Go eat a sandwich would ya!? i don’t trust you when you’re hungry”
#ShitTimSays 😂
How can you say you want to save the trees and yet still use toilet paper?
#Hypocrite #deception #treehugging #useyourhands #useatowel #USAbidet #useabidet
#timmydlc #shittimsays
If flushing someone out of your life makes you feel better it wasn't a relationship. It was a relationshit. Gotta just flush it and let it go like 💩.
Feel relieved after like you just got that constipation out of your life.
#shittimsays #timspirations #realpoop #timmydlc
'This is a weird thing to notice, but that woman had a really small little toe' #ShitTimSays
Tim told me I could go to Post Malone if my friends and I vote for republicans for the next 5 years #ShitTimSays
After an absence from playing... "It's bugging me that I can feel the burning of hot dishes on my fingertips again, instead of wondering who's barbecuing pork." #ShitTimSays
My dad just got outta surgery and texted us "The nurse wrote her phone # down there" #shitTimSays
"You know, sometimes it sucks being as fucking awesome as I am" - #ShitTimSays
Tim is currently taking a quiz about birth control because he’s curious. Taking a brief recess from #shittimsays to preview #shittimdoes
"She fired me up... so I built a fire" - #ShitTimSays
Maker Bayfield is for sure winning the piston cup, he is the best point guard in the MLB #buzzerbeater #ShitTimSays
Talking about custom license plates and dad turns to me and says, "how about you get LUZR". 🙄 #ShitTimSays
The simple fact that you don't think the Earth is triangular makes me think you've never even been there #ShitTimSays
*female walks by
Tim: thats all you brotha
Me: Nahhh im all good trust me
Tim: ya you're right my hand looks better
#shittimsays 😂
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