Top Tweets for #stuffconorsays
C: What's it called when people only eat fish? Episcopalian?
#stuffconorsays
#alternativechurchdenomination
In a family conversation in which we were discussing hoodies:
C: “Hoods—aesthetically speaking—make a piece of clothing at least 37% cooler.”
#stuffconorsays
“Pineapple is like an angry version of citrus.” 🤔
#stuffconorsays
Driving 12 hours with five people in a Nissan Altima. Thought I’d document the trip via tweets. Two minutes down the road:
“This car has no room for pessimism.”
#roadtriptweets #stuffconorsays #wewillseeinsixhours #orless
“Eating graham crackers wears me out.”
#stuffconorsays
C: My motto is: “Better safe than sorry.”
Me: Really?
C: Well, at least when it comes to serious matters. Otherwise it’s: “Throw caution to the wind.”
#stuffconorsays
Me: Hey, do some push-ups.
C: I can’t right now, I’m smiling.
Me: ?
C: When I smile I feel weak.
#stuffconorsays
“The original ‘Instant Message’: a slap in the face.”
#stuffconorsays
“I’m thankful for frozen strawberries...as well as logic and reason.”
#stuffconorsays
I was trying to compare cat growth to human growth, but they’re not at all the same thing.
#stuffconorsays
“We could kill two birds with one stone or we could do it my way and knock out one rock with two birds.” #overheard #stuffconorsays
"I'm about to find out something that has plagued me for 11 years: why Rice Krispies pop."
#stuffconorsays #ontheedgeofmyseat #ricekrispies
Me: You should be in a cover band for Florence & the Machine.
C, w/o missing a beat: Yeah, I'd be Lawrence & the Machine
#stuffconorsays
S: What are thinking about?
C: I was thinking about being famous...I would SERIOUSLY affect the world if I was famous.
#stuffconorsays
"An immense amount of drool just came out of my mouth and it's not on the blanket, it's not on the couch, it's nowhere." #stuffconorsays
"Custard is a word that sounds like it itself has a consistency. And it's not a good one." #overheard #stuffconorsays
"'Saffron' just sounds like an expensive word...like you should have to pay money to say it." #overheard #stuffconorsays
"I wonder what it's like to have big dreams as a child and have them squashed by working in a golf cart store?" #overheard #stuffconorsays
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