Top Tweets for #torytips
#ToryTips to deal with the #CostOfGreedCrisis
¹ Leave your plates on the gutter outside - only will the rain help clean them but the water will conveniently drain away.
Inflicting pain makes an inexpensive, engrossing and highly rewarding hobby. Start with small animals or the disabled to begin with. Baby steps.
#Torytips
Stop being unemployed by transforming yourself into a sturdy and well priced 2nd hand Range Rover with low milage.
#Torytips
Avoid being a spendthrift by dint of always using everyone else's money. At all times.
#Torytips
Achieve evil immortality by simply never dying.
#Torytips
Start a splendid roaring fire with several sundried urchins using a monocle.
#Torytips
Old people are particularly combustible and numerous.
#Torytips
Avoid being small and weak by becoming a gigantic frothing racist.
#Torytips
If in need of sustenance whilst inconvenienced in the north, remember Harrogate.
#Torytips
Avoid being poor at all costs.
#Torytips
At a pinch your trouser press can be utilised for cooking.
#Torytips
If you feel a chill or the onset of a deadly disease, simply stop and think of a small Queen being plucky.
#Torytips
Don't bury radioactive materials in lead barrels down lengthy shafts when it makes an excellent and hardworking toothpaste.
#Torytips
Avoid taking unnecessary journeys by dying at a conveniently young age.
#Torytips
Save on wearing out your favourite spats by levitating.
#Torytips
Good eggs make do. Bad eggs complain.
#Torytips
Be a thrifty lady by saving your hair for weaving a dianty hanky for your children's tears.
#Torytips
Save a farthing by having your top hat made of Liquorice.
#Torytips
If you want to save on heating costs just fill a bag with warm air in the summer and let it out in the winter. #torytips
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