Top Tweets for #twoptips
With fuel prices coming down and Birmingham being a central location, it’s literally cheaper to load up a van and drive there and fly tip all your trade waste on the streets.
#twoptips
Never turn up to a battle of wits unarmed and full of flake.
#twoptips
FRUSTRATE fellow holidaymakers by changing your Mobile Hotspot name to Free Poolside Wifi @TwopTwips #TwopTips
Political parties.
Grab that voter who thinks every single MP is a self serving bastard by making your main manifesto pledge to leave every fucker alone and do just that.
#twoptips
No ‘matoes for salad? Simply pour your favourite tomato soup into ice cube trays & sprinkle with sesame seeds before popping in the freezer. Serve with pickled beetroot slices & tinned stuffed vine leaves or whizz them up & heat to make tomato soup tomato soup. 🍅🥫#twoptips
Make your coffee immediately drinkable temperature by tipping the stuff you’d left for an hour into a fresh cup #TwopTips
Convince your neighbours that you're taking part in the TV show Hunted by inviting 2 complete randomers to pitch up in your back garden #twoptips
Save money by moving your workspace to Somerset. Now every time someone asks me where I work, I say ‘Frome’ instead of ‘from home’. This efficiency of language has already saved me nearly £1 this year. #TwopTips #RateMyPun #LunchPun
Estate Agents.
Save time and make more money by NOT using wide angle lenses to photograph tiny rooms.
#twoptips
#TwopTips:
Save money on gas/petrol - select downhill routes ONLY on your GPS.
Ever wanted the chic look of a smashed cell phone screen without the hassle or expense? 2MS Ind™️has your solution with these new wallpapers! https://t.co/7fjpAEbqdQ crafted for maximum effect using genuine screen breakages (not synthesised) #phonewallpaper #twoptips #glitchart
With everyone glued watching the football, now would be a very good time to walk the dog and leave it’s shit all over the pavement without being seen.
#twoptips
Avoid putting your bins out in the pissing evening rain, by remembering to do it in the mid afternoon #TwopTips
Hey Tory MP!
Struggling to think of a name for your pet guinea pig?
Simply name it after the nearest state school child you see.
#TwopTips
@plinketyplink2 Better still, when I got a sack from the farm (I know) I peeled, chopped some as chips, some as roasts, and part boil. Throw them in freezer x all done when you can't be arsed and cheaper than frozen! Also healthier, the roast ones use a roast, mash or boiled x #twoptips
@jamieoffshore @leannef55 Make sure you set up early x and get aufait with the craic... #twoptips xx
@ScouseMan6 Write down what you're eating that week... Meals no waste on food, veg etc.. Just buy that.. When I. Being frugal I can save £40 a week doing that 😉 #twoptips
Single men - make people think you have a girlfriend or wife by waiting outside the changing rooms at Top Shop looking bored and fiddling on your phone #TwopTips
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