Hashtag MKLM

things my wife says. all statements out of context. on purpose.

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

I just need coffee or I am going to lose my face. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

There should be a mean honk and a nice honk. We should have choices for the honks. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

I don’t want to do any of the things I am about to do. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

Thank you for understanding all the dumb ass things that I say on a daily basis. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

My way of making a list is texting you. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

I don’t want to hear your logic. I just want to be mad about it. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

I don’t like breathing, or touching things. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

You can’t reason with a Turkey. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

Let’s eat all the uglies. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

Now that my body has decided to poop, all it wants to do is poop. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

My pants felt like my underwear and I thought I wasn’t wearing any. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

Fingers don’t go in drinks. #MKLM

[Seattle Mariners @Mariners]

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[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

Sometimes Carrie Underwood is the best part of Sunday Night Football. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

I don’t like talking to people about their favorite TV shows. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

I want you to enjoy my joke as much as I do you motherfucker. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

NO! Tell that to my brain where rational thinking does not apply! #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

It wanted to be sexy and funny and instead it was old and sad. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

One hand has a cupcake. The other has a remote. So you’ll have to wait. #MKLM

[Hashtag MKLM @hashtagMKLM]

Sometimes I forget if I’m plussing or minussing. #MKLM