luke

None the wiser

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

@ScewtsMagoots I want to see cool and active to my peers. Between scrolling Reddit and playing Animal Crossing I really just don’t have the time to exercise.

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

In the gym: just saw a guy checking his shirtless mirror selfie while still shirtless in front of the mirror. #whatrwedoin

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

You’re 22 and posting Spain’s goal on your main Snapchat story. Yeah bro, I’m watching the game too. #getagrip

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

I have two birthdays. The day I was born and the day Kai Cenat read my $50 dollar donation.

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

My top 5 emergency contacts
1. My third favorite uncle
2. Craig
3. My second phone
4. Landlord
5. My rare fish analyst

Now read that twice backwards

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

I didn’t believe in magic til my dogs turned into snakes

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

Slugs > snails imho

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

How old is too old to run outside when you hear the ice cream truck?

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

The people making the most noise watching the World Cup know the least about soccer

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

I have the hiccups and I’m trying to sleep. Feels like I’m in purgatory.

[slayr @countdragons]

NEW YORK CITY, YOU LISTEN TO ME.
IF YOUR NEAR A CONVENIENCE STORE RIGHT NOW, ANY KIND OF 24 HOUR STORE, GO INTO THE STORE RIGHT NOW, AND PUT YOUR HAND IN THE CASH REGISTER FOR NO REASON. THEIR MONEY IS YOUR MONEY, AS OF RIGHT NOW.

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

Orientating, facilitating, and being a boss ass mfer

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

I want to study the brains of the people who post on their Snapchat story

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

When the fajitas come out sizzling

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

I’m losing my mind

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

Pokemon Go was one of gods greatest creations

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

Doing my due diligence.

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

@ScewtsMagoots Tight shirt and pajama pants wearers need to be banished

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

Joe is easily the best impractical joker

[luke @hatsofftoluke]

I’ve just seen a full family at Chilis each having a single AirPod in