Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking

I like to pet goats and touch butts

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

Ironically, butterflies don't make for very good butter

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

Nipples are like facts; some people are ok with you twisting them

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

If you transplant a toe to your hand, would it grow toenails or fingernails?

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

If i tried to poop backwards, would it still be called "poop"

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

It's true that people die, but how come dye don't people?

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

@FladyED @DemonicaED Walking in the sand with socks is worse than the feet.

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

People seem overly cautious of windowless vans, but nobody has a problem with vanless windows.

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

I've been experimenting with using googly eyes for contextualization. For example; anyone will use a sock to masturbate, but a sock puppet...

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

I'm surprised PETA hasn't gone after Lakeside Toys; their "Barrel Full of Monkeys" doesn't have any air holes. Honestly, it cruel.

[𝕯𝖊𝖒𝖔𝖓𝖎𝖈𝖆 (Sharlet) @DemonicaED]

*ADD ONE LINE & RETWEET TO CONTINUE THE STORY BELOW*
Dusk was nearly upon us on the desolate streets of Drustvar when suddenly..

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

@MurauderED @DemonicaED , shouted the alliance adolescent who was occupying his feeble mind by running in non-concentric circles.

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

@ramborc1 @drama_ed @FladyED I'm pretty sure that's Christopher Walken. The pictures like, right there man.

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

Does anyone else think zookeepers are just exotic animal janitors?

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

To avoid offending people during the holiday season, I've resigned to saying, "Have a dreary solstice."

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

I don't appreciate the fact that having a black eye doesn't actually mean your eye is black.

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

If two companions jerk each other off in their sleep, is it considered consensual? Asking for a friend...

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

Why isn't a butt dimple called a dumple?

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

@FladyED You made a sandwich out of turkey and computer?!?!

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

@msl3xi Hurtful...

[Walking_Talking_Stephen_Hawking @hawking_walking]

So where do I go to exchange all my twitter likes for something of value?