Hayley

Sarcasm is a way of life.

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@Bertron3000 They can’t all be doctors.

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@dovergirl95 @keplyq @Bertron3000 Voldemort if it’s a boy. Voldemort if it’s a girl. I still stand by this.

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@RubyMcrae @dovergirl95 The outside runners have farther to go in the outside lanes. That’s why they start staggered in the 200m, 400m, 800m etc

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@RubyMcrae @dovergirl95 Only the women would be on the outside tracks.

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@dovergirl95 @CBCQueensPark @PattyOLimerick Also just around the corner from my parents’ place in St. Catharines

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@Bertron3000 plumbers and cats? #dreamdate

[mike freeman @mikefreemanNFL]

1. Dude just walked off the street and ran a 4.2.

2. He's 32.

3. Five years ago he would have run a 4.1.

4. Even now, if he trained, he'd run a 4.1.

5. Unbelievable.

[Hayley @HayleyML]

If he did t, he would never be my boyfriend.

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@Bertron3000 There has never been a more fitting description of us

[The Onion @TheOnion]

Supportive Parents Encourage Child’s Interests In Anything Within 15-Minute Drive https://t.co/uGkL0BXr1e

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@HeatherOpper...This is us.

[Jess Zeidman @jzeidz]

You were “gifted & talented” in elementary school, choose your path:
⚪️ anxiety
⚪️ depression
⚪️ fear of failure that plagues your every decision
⚪️ intense guilt that you’ll never live up to your earlier potential
⚪️ good at crossword puzzles
🔘 all of the above

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@Slashleen I think I found your Prince Charming...

[horace @gayandold]

I don’t mean to be vulgar but I need get my dick sucked so hard that all my internal organs come out through my urethra

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@dovergirl95

[blogTO @blogTO]

Mark your calendars, #Toronto! Here are some upcoming food events to check out https://t.co/yblnuEI3hy

[Hayley @HayleyML]

Not for long with Ford Nartiom

[Hayley @HayleyML]

How many coworkers saying “Are you ok?” before I start taking it personally?

[Jairus (Live at the S.S.L.) @JairusKhan]

At 5¢ per RT, it would take 6.7 billion retweets to make up the money that you cut from Ontario's mental health funding plans.

[Hayley @HayleyML]

Samesies

[Toronto Life @torontolife]

What's it like to shop for a home in the Bridle Path? This Danish family found out: https://t.co/efLEp9De53

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@dovergirl95 @deray Still waiting...

[Hayley @HayleyML]

@benshapiro How the fuck is this guy verified?

[Mikael Thalen @MikaelThalen]

I've gone down a black hole of the latest DeepFakes and this mashup of Steve Buscemi and Jennifer Lawrence is a sight to behold

[Hayley @HayleyML]

Am I the only one who has a problem with Bell using mental health as free publicity and then using the money it raises as a tax write off?