hail

proud nose-job recipient

[Seth @holzawn]

Smelled an amazing scent on walk & tried to Shazam it

[April Clark @autogynefiles]

Call from dentist. DECLINE. Theyre just trying to get me on the line to trace my location. So they can kill me. They’re trying to fucking kill me

[fitlit @deathbysalesman]

I was trying to use a straight razor to shave "down there" and ended up cutting my penis clean in half. So I'm going to be, maybe. 15 minutes late,

[quinn 🍁 @moekaboobs]

you ever take a selfie look at it and realize you believe in eugenics

[wun @The1weekend]

first in my bloodline to smoke this much weed.

[frick @gofrickurself]

They’re factory resetting me tomorrow

[𝔃𝓪 @SteeIDick]

i got higher than giraffe pussy before my therapist appointment and she was very unhappy and scolded me

[blaire @pissshit90001]

Call me Dora the way my Bag talk

[323 @Ggod323]

one of you is going to betray me

[JENIFA @fwjenifa]

laying on a skinny dude chest like laying on da porch

[tia ★ @tiadeeznuts]

if i block someone it should delete their account and also kill them

[FIORE @drakebonergif]

the beef jerky from dollar tree is people

[bean smoothie™ @beansm00thie]

friday night you already know the vibes

[gold star for robot boy @chasedbywasps]

jimmy neutron was based on a real boy from my church

[Dr. R. J. Vein @VeinRichard]

does anyone have anything that I can have?

[ilove @imsopopu1ar]

I need the curse lifted

[Liminal Space Updates @communicat1022]

I just ate a crumb of paint from my wall and it tasted really good so I am eating a bigger piece now

[a @a8065287968522]

Im i am infertile from eating scented candles. The

[ru paul charts and gaggy tea @jonisfefe]

Men with IPads is ladies