Heart Breaker

I share my poetry at @ourhaunting. Tweets:

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

I've been crying for only 35 years now. I've got a good 35 more years to cry ahead of me. Always something to look forward to.

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

@BrunusCutis ah, very helpful

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

They're yelling in Spanish outside my door. Hopefully the place isn't burning down. What's the Spanish word for fire? Never mind. Too late.

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

They changed my locks. But at least they gave me a key. That was awfully nice of them, don't you think? I probably need a shrink. Yes.

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

I watched "In Her Skin" last night and apparently now I like disturbing movies. Which for some reason I do not find at all disturbing.

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

So far I have not heard a single Christmas carol yet and it's nearly Thanksgiving. I'm accepting no votes for Trump in lieu of awards.

[ETHICAL STALKER @PsychographEd]

Okay, let's face it.
Nothing can be more serious than an egg with protected account.

[Blu @TwoSapphiresBlu]

Apparently it's scary on a first date if you tell him he'd make a great stepdad for your kids.

[KrissiBex @KrissiBex]

Nothing will make anyone feel old quite like The Fonz doing all these loan commercials specifically for old people

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

Someone just unlocked my door and when I opened it to see what the hell was going on a little guy told me he was "make sure key still work."

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

@padeeodee @lorigonzalez28 it helps when you have a place to plug in said slow cooker

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

Management is conducting a housekeeping inspection. I am so excited, as I assume this means they will bring in mops and clean everything.

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

It's alarming the number of tweets you can accidentally like while cleaning cat hair off your phone.

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

So, my sleep officially sucked better than most prostitutes.

Yes, I did just say that.

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

I got felt up by an 8 year old boy who only spoke Spanish while I was in the laundry room today. I think he wanted money. Poor unlucky kid.

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

It seems twitter DMs are never really deleted for good. They just disappear into a black hole until you switch phones and reinstall the app.

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

We have scented trash bags and every time I open up a new one it smells like a perfume factory has farted in my house.

[Heart Breaker @hbreaker9999]

Yay morning. Yay new day with old responsibilities. Yay having to put on pants and comb my hair. Yay yay yay. Not.