Heather Deiseach

Law student extraordinaire. Check out my blog at

[Hanecdote 🍉 @Hanecdote]

Spent about 15 hours stitching this feminist art meme 😂

[Dennis Farrell @DennisFarrell]

Imagine being held at gunpoint (bear with me) by a literate animal, and the only hope of rescue is (BEAR WITH ME) tweeting a coded message

[OnePlus @oneplus]

Meet a new vision of class and power! Get the OnePlus 3T colette edition only at @coletteparis. Learn more https://t.co/0Zev7smhjb

[Sophia Benoit @1followernodad]

guys: women are a mystery.
women: Here is what we-
guys: LITERALLY WHAT DO THEY WANT?
women: well for start-
guys: Guess we'll never know!

[Abby Heugel @AbbyHasIssues]

I'm just a girl, standing in front of a self-checkout, screaming that there's no unexpected item in the bagging area.

[gill @cav0rting]

dunno why farmers r so stunned av came across a lot of two faced cows in my time

[Sean Leahy @thepunningman]

Me: Brian's coming over
Wife: Brian from work or Brian who always gets Jim Carrey quotes wrong?
Brian: [from outside] LLLLLLIIIKE A SHOE

[audrey farnsworth @audipenny]

Bad credit? No credit? First time buyer? First time baby? No legs? 8 legs? You a spider? Are you a Spider trying to buy a house?

[Bob Vulfov @bobvulfov]

dates 1-4: let me tell u about my extremely normal hobbies and interests

date 5: i don't think the moon is real

[🇺🇸Frank Whítehouse 🇺🇸 @WheelTod]

My family's dull. All through his teens my brother had his head buried in a book before dad exhumed it & reattached to the rest of his body.

[keely flaherty @keelyflaherty]

friend: how are things?

me: things are good!

narrator: things were not good

[Ivsy @Ivsy01]

If you'd like to be left alone just carry a doll everywhere you go.

[David Hughes @david8hughes]

[sees girl reading The Catcher in the Rye]
"Ah I love that book. The way he just [clenches fist] catches all that frickin rye."

[chip malfunction @online_shawn]

Nintendo: Do you like games?
Me: Sure
Nintendo: Walking around?
Me: Not really
Nintendo: Trading rats for candy?
Me: Are you drunk

[Chelda @legendofchelda]

Stop tweeting about what real women are and are not. You're going to blow my secret that I'm a lizard creature zipped into a woman suit

[Sage Boggs @sageboggs]

everyone: don't judge a book by its cover
people who make book covers for a living: wait what

[H @knowmestyles]

Just spooning my boyfriend

out of his container

it’s ice cream

[Dee @figgled]

Real women have curves!!! Real women have spirals!!! Real women are plump and covered in a creamy sauce wait nope thinkin of pasta