Heather Jones

Happy. Blessed. Saved. John 16:33.

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

Is anyone else hoping there’s a 35 minute version of all too well on Midnights??

[Team Katie @TeamKatiePorter]

Big Pharma says they need to charge astronomical prices to pay for research and development. Yet, the amount they spend on manipulating the market to enrich shareholders completely eclipses what's spent on R&D. Today, I confronted a CEO about the industry's lies, with visuals ⤵️

[Jose Canseco @JoseCanseco]

Happy Valentines Day to everyone except Alex Rodriguez

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

Tomatoes do not go in the fridge. Store things like the grocery store. Do you get them from the fridge at the grocery store? No. Because they don’t belong there.

Thank you for coming to my Ted talk.

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

My mom stayed with me last night and asked if I had a letter opener. I laughed really hard then realized she was serious then told her I don't think any millennial has one. So, do you?? #Millennials

[Zac Mabry @ZacMabry]

This plant-based alternative promises to help high schoolers stop vaping.

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

Texans when they eat something that will make their butthole burn like the fires of hell later:
“Oh that has a nice little kick to it!”
🔥🔥 #texas

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

Why is Ethan Hawke not in everything??!

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

Al Capone literally got away with murder but couldn’t get away with tax evasion, so what makes people think they’ll be the ones who do get away with it??

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

My mom majored in Revisionist History. Hearing her tell stories is UNREAL.

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

My face hurts from laughing so much this weekend, mainly thanks to @paulscheer, @nickkroll, the @HDTGM and The League crews.

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

My current favorite thing:
Imperfect produce. Save money, time and waste.

https://t.co/9T1VDk1Zm5

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

Great phishing email.

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

I’m coworker #2:

[Zac Mabry @ZacMabry]

Co-worker #1: I got an invitation to edit a google doc.

Co-worker #2: It's probably a phishing email

Co-worker #1: IDK, it looks legit. I have a good eye for this stuff.

Co-worker #2: Ok well first of all it says Gloogle.

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

Me showing up late with my hair curled is equivalent to me showing up late with Starbucks. A decision was made and I don’t regret it.

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

Anyone else jealous of Europe’s #voteofnoconfidence option????

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

Every CPE event: “robotics is life changing and will save your company billions of dollars. Oh btw, we sell this software and you can buy it and then hire us to maintain it!” #accounting #cpa #salespitchmuch

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

ALSO those are $4 for 72 wipes and makeup wipes are $9 for 25. So I’m basically a genius.

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

My facial girl said I had amazing skin & asked about my skincare routine & I didn’t have the heart to tell her that I have been using bathroom wipes, like that you wipe your butt with, as make up remover bc I ran out of makeup wipes. It says, “face, body & baby wipe” 🤷🏼‍♀️

[Heather Jones @heatherlynn13]

Then a few coworkers & I read the transcripts & reports from some of the planes when the flight attendants called for help. I have coworkers who worked here that day. Working for an airline & having a best friend that’s a FA has given new meaning to this day #NeverForget