hurricane heather

the wicked witch of the AFC east. Catastrophically Unstoppable.

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

you be his peace. i wanna be his sleep paralysis demon.

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

finally had a post pop off on threads i think im done here

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

i’m a diehard “creek” girlie and kara is the “crick” girlie

that just means i wear water shoes and she raw dogs it. that’s really the only difference tbh

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

in the eyes of thurman thomas, rob and i are married, and i think thats beautiful. thank you for that connie you queen

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

i love watching joey work til im the one he’s barking at

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

famiglia pucciarelli

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

every day is a battle to not just hack all of my hair back off again. this shit sucks, why do i want this

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

@kevinlapp21 miss you too pal 💖

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

i answer @kevinlapp21 s phone call “yes dear?” and he responds by calling me a crusty bitch so that’s our friendship summed up preeeeeeetty well

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

time can’t be real cause what do you mean it’s been 9 years

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

i can’t articulate how depressing the abandonned valvo’s shop is to me. or why, for that matter

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

@talleyberrybaby i didn’t say “i’m sorry that happened to you” when a client was CLEARLY AND ADMITTING TO being wrong. i’m not your mother and you’re a grown adult, handle your shit? maybe?

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

why am i suddenly getting mail from the jerboa house?! i haven’t lived at that property in over a decade and would prefer all memories of such remain buried

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

literally no one asked for this

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

34 days until i take my first vacation since last september, and if i don’t blow my brains out into the bay before then, it will be A Miracle

[ghost @ghostfishkillah]

that one white boy from Pittsburgh who did it all without a Drake feature

[Tony X @soIoucity]

you woulda seen a shoe flying at her like george bush

[WeRateDogs @dog_rates]

This is Reese. She was offered a chicken nugget, but to eat it she would have to give up her hot sauce toy. Can't believe you're making her choose. 13/10

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

@Puleo33 i feel like i remember this lore and still to this day do not know either of them

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

i just did the thing where i thought about my name too hard and now it’s not real. layne? my middle name is layne? layne. nope not real

[Meg @megannn_lynne]

“keeps the score” is not a violent enough description of whatever the fuck my body does

[hurricane heather @heatherwasalll]

“hey dad, do you wanna smell this weed i got last week?” is a real question i asked my father at dinner yesterday and i’m just now appreciating how funny i think it is