BEEF

AMC A-Lister. Spelling bee champion. The Jason Kelce we have at home.

[Josh Billinson @jbillinson]

it’s worth asking the question

[Mina Kimes @minakimes]

This would be true if the purpose of reading was purely utilitarian. No one is looking at maps for anything other than information; people read for a wide variety of purposes, many of which are contingent on the idea that original thought is involved.

[Rodger Sherman @rodger]

Finally: after 96 years and 992 matches, this USA-Australia match will be the first in men’s World Cup history between two nations that respect the tradition and history of the sport by calling it soccer

[W.E.B. DaBoi @Tyre_94]

Me after exactly 2 Miller Lites: Have you ever seen the movie The Prestige?

[weird medieval guys @WeirdMedieval]

you fools….where do you think they’re rowing to…..?

[matty monroe🥤 @MonrovianPrince]

IF YOU’RE NEAR ANY BOJANGLES OR COOK OUT PUT YOUR HAND IN THE CASH REGISTER. THEY’RE MONEY IS YOUR MONEY NOW!

[Governor Josh Stein @NC_Governor]

my bbq is swine
my dorothea is dix
my longleaf is pine
MY CANES IN SIX

[Elijah Wood @elijahwood]

For the first time yesterday, I experienced the new @alamodrafthouse QR code ordering system and I can tell you it’s truly awful. Rather than making ordering food and drink more efficient, it actually adds steps to the process AND if you want to order additional items during the film you HAVE to open your phone. No, your cute reference to that irony in your How To Alamo video doesn’t negate how ridiculous this is. Please don’t cut corners with your staff and revert back to physical menus and order cards.

[Moss ⸸ ⛧ @mossbonesss]

red is snarky
yellow is dumb but well meaning
blue is chill
orange is anxious
brown is smart
purple is quirky
fake ass M&M fan

[🏆 - kermit gulag @scullyenjoyer]

hang the banner!

[🇮🇴WilliamTheBonqueror @BillTheKid1603]

Why is the best guitar riff ever in a song about selling microwave ovens

[Justin🦩Boldaji @justinboldaji]

Using Kenny Rogers’ Gambler in a Draft Kings ad is perverse. This is not the type of gambling he was talking about. He was talking about Cool gambling

[General Gainey III @General_Gainey]

Dearest Mother,

I have failed to complete my tasks and promises to NC State. I am a coward and should never been given the opportunity to lead the Wolfpack.

With the being said, upon my failure I will cower away to Baton Rogue and be forgotten by everyone. I am not an American Gangster, I am simply an American failure that could not compete in the hardest region to lead a basketball team.

Onward.

General

[nathan @nathanrobii]

leonardo dicaprio goes in for his mustache transplant and when he came out he asked “wheres pedro pascal?” and the doctors said “who do you think gave you the mustache”

[NeroTsumi 🪄🍮 @KuroSekaiAnime]

This why batman never kills

[cookiebot🌹 @cookiebotmonstr]

Ring camera: We can help you find your dog!

[Mike Recine @mikerecine]

“MY FAMILY CAME HERE LEGALLY!” No your family came here on a disease boat to dig tunnels and be cannon fodder. But congrats on making it two rungs up the ladder. Now you get to spit on the people below you! God Bless America!