Jess Heberlie

This is my private diary. she/her

[Jess Heberlie @heberlie]

An Uber driver once told me not to marry the man who pulls a Busch Light out of his pants at a bar. Last night I shoved 3 in my bibs before going downtown. Oh how the turns have tabled.

[Brandon Streussnig @BrndnStrssng]

“Labubu” sounds like John Travolta introducing Lady Gaga at the Oscars

[Gf Be WILIN @gfbewilin]

Remember it takes 2 people to ruin a relationship

Him & his mother for raising him that way

You did nothing wrong sis

[Connor Franta @connorfranta]

why on earth would jenna say qua

[Jess Heberlie @heberlie]

Imagine fumbling this before summer hahahahahah

[brent @murrman5]

Losing an hour on international women’s day weekend. Naw that don’t sit right with me

[optimusprime @earth_to_annaa]

if they abolish OSHA i will use the forklift for evil

[🌮 TerasGhost @prevtsghost]

RFK, Jr. Supporter

[Kristen ⸆⸉ ❤️‍🔥✨ @kristensversi0n]

My brother: “name one NFL stadium other than arrowhead”

Me: SoFi stadium

[Hustlanani @hustlanani]

I don’t play about my nonverbal time

[Winter @LeftyWinter]

“He said, let’s change the Gulf of Mexico to the gulf of America.

We could have had our first female President.”

[Hustlanani @hustlanani]

A guy will text me “Good Morning” and I’ll literally be like I can’t fucking do this

[Hunikin 💣🐶 dog vtuber @hunikinn]

My friend did a hear me out presentation at new years.

Here was some of her takes:

[Jess Heberlie @heberlie]

Who needs a high school reunion when you could scroll on hinge in your home town instead

[molly 🇬🇧💫❤️‍🔥 @mollytheswiftie]

simply a reminder that even though you may not be in Vancouver tonight, one of your friendship bracelets might be🥹