Jason Kyle Parish

Trying to be funny. Trying to cure boredom. Trying to play drums with my Sonic Screwdriver. Trying to stay progressive/moderate, if you must know.

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

Stood alone
In a field
That is mostly grass and hills
Have to clear all this land
to build a theme park for thrills

In my pants
Wallet's deep
But my cash I aim to keep
There's no contractor that
Will move this much earth for cheap

Backhoe sun
Woncha come
and clear away terrain

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

Got 'noped' to death by a Blue mage in MTGA cuz I just gave the f up. #colorofnope #MTGA @MTG_Arena

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

@soynielos I love sushi, but not that much.

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

Saw some gas station sushi, today. It was grey. Who the hell eats that?

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

You'd think the EMMIs would be like, "Ey! I'm getting shot in the face!" ... #MetroidDread

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

Puttin' on my snorkelin' gear and diving into Windows 11 ... <gasp>

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

@ff5forfutures #reg

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

What do you call a sexually-harassing sailor of the seas?

Innapropirate.

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

@RepMTG @JoeBiden YOU .... are .... apeshitcuckoobananapants.

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

omg Twitter is so quiet without <whispers> "you know who..."

[Brian Tyler Cohen @briantylercohen]

Tweeted from inside of Trump’s colon.

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

How the hell did I end up the "crazy liberal" uncle at Thanksgiving!?

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

@realDonaldTrump You're a lame duck! Oops - ducking autocorrect!

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

Joe said "malarkey." Everyone finish your drink. #Debates2020

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

@realDonaldTrump Alright, quarantine for about.. 5 or 6 weeks. That should be good.

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

@realDonaldTrump You won at sucking the most oxygen out of the room.

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

I'm gonna get one those binary clocks so that I never know what fucking time it is.

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

In spite of the evidence, @realDonaldTrump can't be the Antichrist because the Bible said it wouldn't be this obvious.

[Jason Kyle Parish @hecjkp]

@realDonaldTrump I think if you stopped lying, you'd die.