Hedon/Dave🚦

EDNOS+ARFID. I ❤️ broccoli and cauliflower. DNFI fatphobes || Cw: suicide, ocd || PRO-RECOVERY || 24, He/Fir 🏳️‍⚧️🇳🇿

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

losing weight again though now that im out of there so let's hope I can get back to where I was

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

I got put into recovery and then told once I had gained weight that they don't treat ARFID or OCD and couldn't help me. Genuinely felt like I got tricked into gaining weight ngl 🥲

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

I got put into recovery and then told once I had gained weight that they don't treat ARFID or OCD and couldn't help me. Genuinely felt like I got tricked into gaining weight ngl 🥲

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

nothing like starving myself all day so i can get drunk and eat broccoli + rice for dinner while blindingly drunk.... <3

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

genuinely like too scared to weigh myself bc im certain ive reached 60kgs again and i think id drink myself into a coma if i find out i have

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

i feel so bad for being so quiet here for so long. been busy moving so once im finally moved im gonna be active more bc ill be able to starve and frequently exercise w/o getting in trouble yippee

[rei @_str4wberrei]

not restricting not recovering but a secret third thing

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

@Billimiaa this took me. a bit too long to catch onto the joke 💔

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

@skinnyoverload i am v exhausted but alive!! i hope u have been doing well ❤️

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

i feel so ugly and have been finding it incredibly hard to be in public or be around people with this weighr gain. it feels like a humiliation ritual, going outside with how much weight ive gained. im so exhausted

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

also ive gained like 3-4kgs in recovery so far and if i think abt it at all i feel like throwing up. been eating a lot less lately, i miss restricting heavily and i need to lose all this weight again even though itd jeapordise my spot on the waitlist. just so tired.

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

being disordered is so exhausting and i feel like its never going to get better

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

its been really hard watching my body change with weight gain and i desperately want to go back to heavily restricting 🥲

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

nothing like ugly crying at my ed appt 🙃 im so embarrassed

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

it feels, how it looks. I looked so nice at 52kgs and I miss it. I want to go back. I want to restrict harder again and exercise frequently and lose weight again.

recovery doesnt feel worth it. I just want to stop. I just want this to be over. im so scared of what my weight is

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

been gaining a lot of weight and its been incredibly scary. im not rlly coping well, I picked up smoking again to cope because I cant handle the mental strain.

I know its normal to gain weight. its okay to. but I hate how my body doesnt feel like mine anymore. I dont like how

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

@cherirexic twix* omfg autocorrect 😭

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

@cherirexic a twin and kitkat please !!!!

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

@skinnyoverload that is horrendously fucked up im so sorry :( im throwing bricks at her

[Hedon/Dave🚦 @hed0nicbones]

@moderatecals only dbt works for me, but I do enjoy general talk therapy as a means of yapping and getting insight or advice and whatnot. that said im very receptive to how I am as a person and put a lot of work into adapting new skills and trying to change for the better