Lance Heffner

Bees?

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

@hutchinson Only people below a certain income threshold deserve food assistance?

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

@clur98 you can’t. skip. lunch.

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

@clur98 this is the shadow the hedgehog game 😭

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

love the dichotomy of eastern european techno punk to complete silence on my uber ride to and from a place

[hot girl chumley-mcbadbat @clur98]

MAGGIE ROGERS SUPREMACY

[Brett "Solidarity 2025" Banditelli @banditelli]

This is the future socialists want
https://t.co/8SAjBywRkf

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

@kaity_johnson_ NO ONE! not ever

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

Lmao, literally just watched Skyfall like 30min ago and saw him out of nowhere. Like him better without the nose though.

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

The Disney+ High School Musical TV show, High School Musical: The Musical, The Series, is a show about the high school from High School Musical putting on High School Musical: The Musical as their school musical

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

Love when passengers tell me they’re gonna give me five stars and then don’t tip. Thanks and all, but five stars aren’t going to pay my rent, Steve

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

Favorite Uber passenger ever to her boyfriend: “I don’t let you buy me things so you don’t think I need you and that you’re easily replaceable if you ever fuck up.”

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

The only thing worse than having an Uber passenger spend the entire trip trying to get you to sleep with them is getting that same passenger a month later, have them recognize you turned them down, but still try it again

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

Growing up, my mom and I would go to @BurgerKing almost every single morning after dropping off my sister to school and get Cini Minis. I was destroyed when they were discontinued. Today has been a glorious day #gimmeciniminis

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

The worst part about my mom adopting two dogs after I left for college is finding out she makes them listen to conservative media when she leaves and there’s nothing I can do about it

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

I used to think I hated being outside but I've realized I just hate being outside in Illinois

[MN Speech Confessions @SpeechMn]

"Only 90s kids will remember"

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

@PopTartsUS Why you do me dirty like this?

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

Y'all ever think about how at least one person has to have found their soulmate though a collab on TikTok?

[Lance Heffner @heffner_lance]

I've become so desensitized to caffine that I literally drink Dr. Pepper to go to bed