Heidi

I’m a sure bet at a losing streak

[🤠 @heavensbvnny]

Just a friendly reminder. No matter how tired you are, play with your pets, they waited all day for you.

[Blank Check @dreadloxrastah]

You can put an email verbatim in the Outlook search that you just sent 2 minutes ago and it’ll be like no results found

[soup🌱 @thrluv]

why are we still acting like two days off is enough to recover from five days of working??? 😭

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

cats are little narcissists because they will see you upset or troubled and they’ll think “you know what would help? a healthy dosage of ME” and they’ll headbutt you and snuggle you.

anyway it DOES work so I can’t fault them

[they/them might be giants ☭ @babadookspinoza]

Wild how everything got super expensive except an hour of labor.

[mari @tayaswizzles13]

get a second, third, fourth job. just kidding no jobs will hire. save money. just kidding everything is so expensive you’ll have nothing to spare. don’t go out. don’t have experiences. don’t live. you can’t afford it. life is awesome! don’t complain!

[Softboy @softboywin]

If you completed college before AI, your student loans should be forgiven

[Heidi @heidi_elea]

@misboxie I switched doctors one time because I attended my annual physical and wasn’t asked anything about my cycle. It is such a key indicator of health in women.

[Heidi @heidi_elea]

The classic post-wedding chop

[The Swift Society @TheSwiftSociety]

📸| Taylor Swift out in London last night with new haircut!

[‏ً @omgsidewalks]

We SHOULD sacrıfice one billionaire a week until rent is under $800 again.

[ً @artfuIchaos]

top 5 horror movies:

1. having a job.
2. not having a job.
3. applying for jobs.
4. the job market.
5. the concept of working my whole life.

[julia, u know ill nvr make a fool of ya @Nellythamenace]

You HAVE to enjoy life after you get off work or you gone feel like you slaving away. Like PLEASE go have drinks on a random Wednesday. YES do that beach picnic too. That’s right, go practice pottery on a Tuesday evening. That go to work, go home, go to work, go home shit is 0/10

[Jessss🕊️ @jessica37895]

C’est incroyable que la façon la plus simple d’enregistrer un PDF soit de faire croire à l’ordinateur qu’on va l’imprimer

[WeirdHumanBeing @weirdbeingg]

It's kinda funny when a tweet is very obviously made by a man because that is not the reason I need there to be a trash can in the bathroom

[𝓐⭑ @ayogiovanna]

Neurotypicals: I love Saturdays, so much freedom.

ADHDers: I have 14 hours of unstructured time. By 11am I have done 0 of the 6 things I meant to. By 3pm I have done 1. By 7pm I am grieving the day.

[Taylor Swift @taylorswift13]

get in the car it’s august

[Heidi @heidi_elea]

YESSSS

[Noah Kahan @NoahKahan]

I can finally rest

[Heidi @heidi_elea]

Finny when he gets on top of the fridge and screams

[kiesha @kiesha9i]

I think sometimes cats don’t actually know what specifically they want – they’re just generally dissatisfied, so they stand there yelling “I YEARN” on the off chance that you’ll be able to do something about it.

[Heidi @heidi_elea]

@obviouslacking I don’t know what’s up with the replies, it is legal in all 50 states. Looks like some areas ban it but in general it is the expectation unless there’s a sign stating otherwise. It is completely optional, but if you don’t do it people will honk at you which is super annoying

[Heidi @heidi_elea]

So glad I had a mental breakdown the same year as a new @NoahKahan album