BjörnagainChristiansson

im a communist till I've had my morning coffee

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

The hardest part about only doing self tapes at home is not being sure I can do a scene with pants on anymore

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

Oh, you "woke up and chose violence"? Cute.

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

Cats don't care about self tapes

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

Not nearly enough yoyos these days

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

"Tequila isn't coffee" - the old me
It's a new year baby

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

I'm single for Kris Kringle

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

Santa never came last year so I'm gonna ride him even harder

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

It me

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

Like a zebra I cannot be tamed

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

@DrewBJones Unclear, sounded like a top bottom split, I was too busy being horrified

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

Someone told me they only floss half their mouth sometimes and it ruined my entire day

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

When you sat on my face, it took my breath away

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

I just yelled "I EXIST" at my dad's dog who refuses to acknowledge me #HumpDay

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

After months of thought and soul searching I have come to the difficult but also freeing realization that I am ok with not being an actor, that I can-
Wait, I did? 3 lines? Not credited but might get residuals...and meet Mark Wahlberg?? Ok I'm in! Fuck yea I'm an actor again baby

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

SAG- "Self-tapes Are Garbage"

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

I'm edgy. I'm exciting. Always saying crazy shit like Colin Powell is dead and I DID IT

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

Like trader Joe's iced cinnamon rolls, I'm bun on top cake on bottom

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

So if I say my cavities were shot into me by the Cuban intelligence services, can I get dental? @AdamSchiff

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

"I'm starting to think financial institutions are just here to fuck you over" - my mother

[BjörnagainChristiansson @heimer_steven]

Never thought I'd say this but dinglebob mctricklesticks